Tough Gig

Being the Mother of three and four year old boys is a tough gig. It is hectic. It is draining. It is overwhelming and exhausting. The days are long. It is a challenge to be sane. There are days I wonder how we will get through the next minute.

I spend my days correcting name calling ie “stupid head”. I am the enforcement of manners. I am the controller of apologies given with a hug versus eye-rolls. I am the referee of physical arguments from toy throwing to bicycle hit and runs. I am the sharing police of equal time to play with a toy we have an identical one, but “it is not the same”. I am the maid picking up only to repeat the same pick up within minutes. I am the hygiene committee sanitizing the hands that secretly washed dirty “unders” in the toilet. I am the make me a snack, get me a drink, the dogs ate my snack and find my drink in ten minutes time person.

I am the voice raising, counting to three, time setting timeout person. I am the give me a moment by locking the bathroom door to breathe person. I am the let us stay home as it is too much work to go out person. I am the hold your ground make no compromise during a tantrum person. I am the fall on the couch during your rest and take a nap person. I am the count down to bedtime to prepare to repeat the above the very next day person. I am the “I wonder how we will get through tomorrow?” person.

You wrap your arms around my neck and I ask, “What was your favorite part of your day?” Kaden, you always answer the same. It is music to my heart as I hear your predictable answer with a beaming, “Everything!” Ashton, you pinpoint your choice and give great detail. I get lost as I listen to your perspective of the same day.

 

It comes to me.

 

I remember you are three and four years old—17 months a part in age. You’re simply being who you are supposed to be at these ages.

You fall into my arms. I become conscious that my correcting, policing, enforcing, sanitizing, reminding and controlling is to raise good people. To raise good people is tiring. Gauging how tired I am you two boys will grow to become great people! Truth is told, I would repeat each day as it ensures one more day spent with you both. It may sound as though I take parenthood for granted, but I assure you it is one I am forever grateful to experience all the minutes.

This tough gig is a gift and you better believe I know it.

BLINK

Kaden at the beginning of your life I was often given the same one liner most new moms hear: “Enjoy this time, for it goes by way to fast.” I heard this so often I began to cringe each time I was given this piece of wisdom. I smiled kindly, but in my head would repeat, “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.” Life was a blur as I was learning my new normal of balancing you all of 16 months and Ashton a sleepless newborn. I look back and I shake my head wondering how we survived those days!

 

In a blink we moved passed it.

Five years later I find myself offering this exact same wisdom to moms. Boy how time goes by. I want to make my hands into fists, stomp my feet and yell out, “Please soak in the moment. Observe and watch this wonder, your child, grow. You have absolutely no idea, NO IDEA, how fast this will all go by!” I am amazed how much life happens in five years. As I sit here a whirlwind hits my memory bank. So many memories flood into the forefront. Milestones, which will create the man you will become.

It feels as though yesterday I was shopping for your first 4^th of July outfit and I blinked to seeing us today as we shopped for size 1 sandals. I remember holding up size 24 month overalls thinking you will never fit into these. Now we patiently wait for your waist to grow into size 5 jeans, so your pants are no longer high-waters. In a blink you are boy.  

I watch you play with curiosities and listen as your imagination soars. I am in awe. There are days I fear walking away from your play. I realize how beautiful these moments are. I am proud of you as you finished your first commitment: preschool! I shared with others it could not possibly be over. Did you not just walk so independently into your first day of class while the only tears shed were mine? I blinked. I find us two years later songs sung, friends made, hand is writing and I cannot catch my breath. As I feel we are starting to say hello to the world- dipping my toe into the waters you were diving in. Yep, I blinked alright.  

Good bye little. Hello boy.

I look ahead understanding how fast you will grow. I breathe out as I think what lies ahead. You are on the cusp of turning five. Another milestone will be met (You have only been waiting two years for this!) as you can chew gum! Sooner than I like you will be two hands old, finally 10 and able to have soda. This means preteen years are upon us and soon car shopping. Car shopping leads into dating and dating is a sure sign of high school. This snowball has no end. It keeps growing and moving faster than I can catch up.

In a blink you are a young man.

For now, I will continue to stop looking ahead. As it is it all comes and goes way to fast. I want to relish in these simple days when you still yell over a crowd you love me and want to spend the whole day in my company. In a blink these days will be over.

I am trying my hardest to keep my eyes wide open not to miss a thing.

 

Nonsense

Here are two ideas I hope will be instilled into you both as soon as your minds will grasp the concepts; and may it remain throughout your life. May you have enough conviction to pass along these truths unto others with your heads held high. I beg of you to never-ever forget:

Our culture has accepted two huge lies:
The first is if you disagree with someone's lifestyle you must fear or hate them.
The second is that to love someone means you agree to everything they believe or do.
Both are nonsense.

You do not have to compromise conviction to be compassionate.

Hold the following close to your heart, for it will guide you to being the definition of  gentlemen.

Superhero Brothers

 

Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero.

Fish Couple

Please meet Brian (blue) and Joy (red). Kade originally had the name Dave chosen. Ash named his Brian. Once Kade learned this he asked me, "Can a fish be a girl? Can my fish be a girl? Of course I answered yes. It was at this moment his fish was renamed: Joy. Reason (other than the obvious?)? because Brian and Joy live together. Logical naming.

Wedding Photo

Kaden asked me to help draw his girlfriend. He then said it was their wedding photo...
Joy is a special lady to both you boys.