It is going on two weeks… it is what I call roll call.
“Mama! Mama, off!” Kade is awake.
I do some goofy thing as I come up the stairs to start the day out with a giggle. Lately, the mornings have been the roughest part of our days. There is a lot going on around you. There has been a great deal of change that you can see and feel. I think the tantrums are your way of communicating you are unsure, scared and confused as to what you see and sense. It makes sense as to why you have started your morning roll call.
I open the door and try to get a smile. You pop up.
You point at me, “Mama?”
“Yes, I am Mama.”
You ask, “Dada?”
“Dada is working.”
“Oh.”
You ask, “Papa?”
“Papa is not here.”
“No?”
“No.”
“K.”
You ask, “GG?”
“Kade, GG is working today.”
“K.”
You ask, “Ta-ta?”
“I think Ta-ta is at her house.”
“Oh. K.”
You ask the last question-
“Oso?”
I grab him out of your crib and show him to you, “Here is that silly ole Oso!”
You giggle.
You grab your Cookie Monster, your Bee as well as your blanket and push all of them into my hands as I hold your balding bear.
I am buried needing to lift you and carry you down the stairs. All is calm as the roll call is complete. We can watch ‘Lalalalala.’
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
FOG
It was a rainy day. It was the first day that it didn’t feel like fall, but the beginnings of winter. It was cold, wet and foggy outside. It is dark until 6:00 in the morning these days. It was just one of those typical blah-zo Oregon days. It just made me one cranky Mama.
I grabbed a cup of coffee and wrapped myself tight within my robe as I sat down on the couch and looked through the front window. As I looked out I saw my refection. I was frowning and I had sad eyes. The winter blues are setting in. As I sat there I wondered how on Earth people do actually love these days. How can I say good-bye to the warm welcoming sun to greet dark dreary depressing days? It is ludicrous! I continued to sit and stare out into the day sipping my coffee becoming more and more depressed. The fog was moving and it felt as though if it could it would creep in and suffocate me.
As all the gloom is luring me into a Seasonal Affected Disorder I hear a scream outside. Kaden’s scream was shrilling. As fast as I jumped he ran into me out of breath but still able to shout, “Mama. Mama. Mama” He came to me like dew to a leaf- a thunderbolt through the sky. He grabbed my hand and pointed outside. At two it was as if he was He-Man dragging me to go with him. He continued to points as he bellowed my name. I noticed he had a look of surprise and bewilderment in his smile. It was not one of terror or of fear.
We get outside and he jumps up and down. And for Kade a jump is ¼ of an inch high. It is only noticeable because of his overly exaggerated knee bending and arm movements. He then leaned over the play-gate and pointed out into the yard. He swooshed his hand back and forth through the open air. He was touching the fog. It was as if I was seeing my angel touch the clouds. He was amazed at the fog. He was pleased to share his found treasure with me.
I sat down on the threshold of the door with my knees up and arms around them as I held my coffee. I sat and observed Kaden dancing around the clouds. He hopped and twirled. He giggled and tried scooping it up with the palm of his hand. It was breath taking. Once again, I see the world for the first time. This is the gift I receive as a Mom that is one of renewal. The drear no longer existed.
I grabbed a cup of coffee and wrapped myself tight within my robe as I sat down on the couch and looked through the front window. As I looked out I saw my refection. I was frowning and I had sad eyes. The winter blues are setting in. As I sat there I wondered how on Earth people do actually love these days. How can I say good-bye to the warm welcoming sun to greet dark dreary depressing days? It is ludicrous! I continued to sit and stare out into the day sipping my coffee becoming more and more depressed. The fog was moving and it felt as though if it could it would creep in and suffocate me.
As all the gloom is luring me into a Seasonal Affected Disorder I hear a scream outside. Kaden’s scream was shrilling. As fast as I jumped he ran into me out of breath but still able to shout, “Mama. Mama. Mama” He came to me like dew to a leaf- a thunderbolt through the sky. He grabbed my hand and pointed outside. At two it was as if he was He-Man dragging me to go with him. He continued to points as he bellowed my name. I noticed he had a look of surprise and bewilderment in his smile. It was not one of terror or of fear.
We get outside and he jumps up and down. And for Kade a jump is ¼ of an inch high. It is only noticeable because of his overly exaggerated knee bending and arm movements. He then leaned over the play-gate and pointed out into the yard. He swooshed his hand back and forth through the open air. He was touching the fog. It was as if I was seeing my angel touch the clouds. He was amazed at the fog. He was pleased to share his found treasure with me.
I sat down on the threshold of the door with my knees up and arms around them as I held my coffee. I sat and observed Kaden dancing around the clouds. He hopped and twirled. He giggled and tried scooping it up with the palm of his hand. It was breath taking. Once again, I see the world for the first time. This is the gift I receive as a Mom that is one of renewal. The drear no longer existed.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Framily
9/18/2009
Our family is fortunate to have friendships that span through generations. Adam has friends that are his parents’ friend’s children. I have friends who are the children of my parents. It is as though we have an extended family tree. The branch I now call “framily.” It isn’t just adding someone as an extension to our family. It is much more. I have been blessed to have a few overly special people in my life, but I have not known how to ‘label’ their importance. I never felt as though I could describe it accurately; and “framily” is exactly the term!
A few months ago, Kayla shared the term “framily”. This lady is my touchstone, my dearest of dear friends. Since hearing this word I have revisited it many times. What is this so-called “framily”?
It is to choose a friend to be family. It knows water can run deeper than blood. It knows in your heart of hearts you would do anything come hell or high water for these cherished people- just as you would for your biological family. It knows the answer is “Yes!” before the request or favor is asked; and it would always be returned. It is never keeping score. We do when we can without hesitation. It is a quiet understanding and stored secrets. It is someone who may know you better than those you were raised. Tonight, Kayla told me, "Our friendship is a bond that has been life changing." Could there be a higher complement? I second this emotion! “Framily” are people you want to share in your celebrations (marriages, pregnancies), bring to your victories (houses, jobs) and hold to in sadness (losses, disappointments) and sometime these people know before anyone else. “Framily” is a kinship.
I hope that we are the beginning of a unique ‘framily’ tree with the Buyas/Adams family. My Mom and Darla (Dawa) have been friends since middle school. Darla has been ‘framily’ long before I knew something beyond the term ‘like family’. Her daughter, Kayla, and I have known each other since Kayla was born. Jake and Blake have been friends with Lucas and Cody for years, too. Kayla and I reconnected in 2006. Kaden you are 10 months older than Kayla and Bill's oldest Bryson (Lil). What buddies you two are! Ashton you will be 10 months older than their baby boy due in December. This is also true for Toni and her son Mason. Mom and Toni have known one another since high school. I have known Toni's son since year one of his life. He graduates this year. I cannot wait to see where his life takes him. He is in my heart forever. They are 'framily.' I have the same hope for both Matt and Robert Molner. They are the son's of Bob and Pam, who are long time Rardin family friends. How neat! I imagine three generations experiencing, growing and being together. It is unique and a real gift to share in this multigenerational friendships.
Last night I shared with Mom (through a text message) how much Kayla means to me. She replied, “And that my dear is who your heart friends are. We all have many friends, but the ones that we hold dear to our hearts the ones that really, really get it- those are the ones. And in reality we have a few.” Oh, the ‘framily’ wisdom is all around.
The best part about being ‘framily’ with Kayla is the gratitude, respect, appreciation, honesty and love we have for one another. We thank one another weekly for our friendship. We honor one another’s choices. We have appreciation for the small and the big. Our love never goes unknown. We share the expression several times in a week. It may just be a quick “love you, friend” text or “I love you” after a phone conversation, but it is always said- always.
I have ‘framily’ in Arizona, Eric as well as Erin in Texas. I miss them every day and even more here lately. Our ties outlast distance and time. These are people I hope you boys come to know as you grow older. I cannot wait to introduce my entire family to these special people and their family. I love them with all of my heart.
“Framily” is an intertwining of friendship and family. And as you read this I imagine you will understand ‘framily’ as you boys have created your own expansion off of our tree. My ‘Mom hope’ is in many-many years I will be sitting at a party watching my son's children playing together with the grandchildren of our friends creating a circle of four generations. What a thought…
Our family is fortunate to have friendships that span through generations. Adam has friends that are his parents’ friend’s children. I have friends who are the children of my parents. It is as though we have an extended family tree. The branch I now call “framily.” It isn’t just adding someone as an extension to our family. It is much more. I have been blessed to have a few overly special people in my life, but I have not known how to ‘label’ their importance. I never felt as though I could describe it accurately; and “framily” is exactly the term!
A few months ago, Kayla shared the term “framily”. This lady is my touchstone, my dearest of dear friends. Since hearing this word I have revisited it many times. What is this so-called “framily”?
It is to choose a friend to be family. It knows water can run deeper than blood. It knows in your heart of hearts you would do anything come hell or high water for these cherished people- just as you would for your biological family. It knows the answer is “Yes!” before the request or favor is asked; and it would always be returned. It is never keeping score. We do when we can without hesitation. It is a quiet understanding and stored secrets. It is someone who may know you better than those you were raised. Tonight, Kayla told me, "Our friendship is a bond that has been life changing." Could there be a higher complement? I second this emotion! “Framily” are people you want to share in your celebrations (marriages, pregnancies), bring to your victories (houses, jobs) and hold to in sadness (losses, disappointments) and sometime these people know before anyone else. “Framily” is a kinship.
I hope that we are the beginning of a unique ‘framily’ tree with the Buyas/Adams family. My Mom and Darla (Dawa) have been friends since middle school. Darla has been ‘framily’ long before I knew something beyond the term ‘like family’. Her daughter, Kayla, and I have known each other since Kayla was born. Jake and Blake have been friends with Lucas and Cody for years, too. Kayla and I reconnected in 2006. Kaden you are 10 months older than Kayla and Bill's oldest Bryson (Lil). What buddies you two are! Ashton you will be 10 months older than their baby boy due in December. This is also true for Toni and her son Mason. Mom and Toni have known one another since high school. I have known Toni's son since year one of his life. He graduates this year. I cannot wait to see where his life takes him. He is in my heart forever. They are 'framily.' I have the same hope for both Matt and Robert Molner. They are the son's of Bob and Pam, who are long time Rardin family friends. How neat! I imagine three generations experiencing, growing and being together. It is unique and a real gift to share in this multigenerational friendships.
Last night I shared with Mom (through a text message) how much Kayla means to me. She replied, “And that my dear is who your heart friends are. We all have many friends, but the ones that we hold dear to our hearts the ones that really, really get it- those are the ones. And in reality we have a few.” Oh, the ‘framily’ wisdom is all around.
The best part about being ‘framily’ with Kayla is the gratitude, respect, appreciation, honesty and love we have for one another. We thank one another weekly for our friendship. We honor one another’s choices. We have appreciation for the small and the big. Our love never goes unknown. We share the expression several times in a week. It may just be a quick “love you, friend” text or “I love you” after a phone conversation, but it is always said- always.
I have ‘framily’ in Arizona, Eric as well as Erin in Texas. I miss them every day and even more here lately. Our ties outlast distance and time. These are people I hope you boys come to know as you grow older. I cannot wait to introduce my entire family to these special people and their family. I love them with all of my heart.
“Framily” is an intertwining of friendship and family. And as you read this I imagine you will understand ‘framily’ as you boys have created your own expansion off of our tree. My ‘Mom hope’ is in many-many years I will be sitting at a party watching my son's children playing together with the grandchildren of our friends creating a circle of four generations. What a thought…
Monday, September 20, 2010
Monumental Day
It was a monumental day: Kade went to the pet store to get his first pet. We went in with the intent to buy goldfish. Goldfish have no maintenance and small quarters, so it seemed the best compromise. In walking around we decided that a goldfish was kind of boring. No offense to the fish, but not really ‘fun’ for our guys-guy. So, he now has two frogs to call his very own!
Adam is trying to convince me to name the frogs Hank and Ledoux. Really? How about naming them something Kaden can say or better yet after something he likes? The whole ride how was screaming in the back, for all he wanted was to hold the frogs. When we got home he kept asking, “off-off” this is the word for on and out. He wanted the frogs out.
We are keeping them on the mantle. At dinner he sat down and pointed to the ‘ush’ (I think this is his word for fish) and pointed down to the table. So, I let all of them celebrate their homecoming over a meal. He was delighted! Of course, we now have to add kissing the frogs bowl two times (once per frog) to the list of other items/things he kisses before heading up for naps and bedtime.
Friday, September 17, 2010
One Year and 85 Later
Boys,
Today marks one year and 85 blogs of memories. Memories I have reread and therefore have been blessed to relive. In setting out to journal about our life it was to capsule both the big and small. Time fades our memory and in a year I have forgotten days and stories I sat down and read (and I wrote it!). I didn’t have an expectation of what I was setting out to do other than give you the gift of stored memories. I have surpassed my own expectations and have written far more than I imagined.
Life has a way of taking hold and people forget to put themselves on their own list. When I began ‘Mudpies and Butterflies’ back in September of 2009 it was for you. Through this period I have realized this journal is a gift to me, as well. It gives me scheduled time to relax, laugh and at times cry. I have been able to really live in the moment of our days. I’ve reminded myself how much pleasure I find in writing. It is my hobby; and I set it aside far too long.
Writing gives me raw time to think, question and answer. I thought I was questioning myself to find answers to later pass along to you. In doing so I have come to know myself more and challenge myself to improve who I am for not only you, but for Dad and myself. It has taken one year of chronicling our days to learn what I have created is a story the journey of motherhood in order to give you your story. This was my revelation last night.
I have been unable to include everything that is touching, funny and historic. I have to make priorities and unfortunately there are days when writing doesn’t make this list. There are periods when days turn into weeks. I fall behind. I want to write in current time, so my memory doesn’t embellish. We have experienced great get-a-ways with Auntie L and the Glovers. Kaden you have coffee talks with Papa out on the patio. Ashton you scare in a crowd, which became obvious at both Bee and Kade’s birthday parties. You have met Auntie Gina and Hanna. I didn’t have the energy to include my period of postpartum. I have not been able to document our adventures in house buying. It has been a full year and in your hands you hold most of it!
My surprise isn’t the 85 entries, but the amount of support and readership ‘Mudpies and Butterflies’ receives. I post our story on a social network site. People have mailed me as well as posted comments to the different entries. I took time last night and copied each comment from the site attaching it to the correct entry on the blog. I think it is important you experience these notes. I encourage anyone to write to you or include a sidebar on what I have shared. Jana has shared here. Have included works from GG, too. It will be nice to visit there memory and perspective in the years ahead.
To answer the most common question- No I do not complete rewrites of the entries. It is what it is. This is why there are spelling errors, half thoughts and imperfections. I write as time allows and at times it is a short amount of time to cpmplete a large flow of thought. Periodically, I am asked what my plan is for this journal. I have been encouraged to seek publication. Some have requested I start a newspaper column. I have received multiple offers to write for different blogs, which I have turned down.
One year later and 85 entries later my mission remains the same. As Francis Bacon advices, I will continue to “write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought are commonly the most valuable.” Mud Pies and Butterflies has great value, for it is our family’s memory. In time it will house the key to our past. Today I celebrate ‘Mudpies and Butterflies’ unlocking the memory of one full year.
Here is to moving forward and still holding tight.
Mom
*If you read the blog, I encourage you to sign up as a ‘Follower’ on the left side panel. As you know you do not need to do this to continue reading ‘Mudpies and Butterflies’. Once you become a Follower you do not receive anything, nor are you spammed. It is a tool to help gage readership as well as help in the future needs for our memory bank.*
Today marks one year and 85 blogs of memories. Memories I have reread and therefore have been blessed to relive. In setting out to journal about our life it was to capsule both the big and small. Time fades our memory and in a year I have forgotten days and stories I sat down and read (and I wrote it!). I didn’t have an expectation of what I was setting out to do other than give you the gift of stored memories. I have surpassed my own expectations and have written far more than I imagined.
Life has a way of taking hold and people forget to put themselves on their own list. When I began ‘Mudpies and Butterflies’ back in September of 2009 it was for you. Through this period I have realized this journal is a gift to me, as well. It gives me scheduled time to relax, laugh and at times cry. I have been able to really live in the moment of our days. I’ve reminded myself how much pleasure I find in writing. It is my hobby; and I set it aside far too long.
Writing gives me raw time to think, question and answer. I thought I was questioning myself to find answers to later pass along to you. In doing so I have come to know myself more and challenge myself to improve who I am for not only you, but for Dad and myself. It has taken one year of chronicling our days to learn what I have created is a story the journey of motherhood in order to give you your story. This was my revelation last night.
I have been unable to include everything that is touching, funny and historic. I have to make priorities and unfortunately there are days when writing doesn’t make this list. There are periods when days turn into weeks. I fall behind. I want to write in current time, so my memory doesn’t embellish. We have experienced great get-a-ways with Auntie L and the Glovers. Kaden you have coffee talks with Papa out on the patio. Ashton you scare in a crowd, which became obvious at both Bee and Kade’s birthday parties. You have met Auntie Gina and Hanna. I didn’t have the energy to include my period of postpartum. I have not been able to document our adventures in house buying. It has been a full year and in your hands you hold most of it!
My surprise isn’t the 85 entries, but the amount of support and readership ‘Mudpies and Butterflies’ receives. I post our story on a social network site. People have mailed me as well as posted comments to the different entries. I took time last night and copied each comment from the site attaching it to the correct entry on the blog. I think it is important you experience these notes. I encourage anyone to write to you or include a sidebar on what I have shared. Jana has shared here. Have included works from GG, too. It will be nice to visit there memory and perspective in the years ahead.
To answer the most common question- No I do not complete rewrites of the entries. It is what it is. This is why there are spelling errors, half thoughts and imperfections. I write as time allows and at times it is a short amount of time to cpmplete a large flow of thought. Periodically, I am asked what my plan is for this journal. I have been encouraged to seek publication. Some have requested I start a newspaper column. I have received multiple offers to write for different blogs, which I have turned down.
One year later and 85 entries later my mission remains the same. As Francis Bacon advices, I will continue to “write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought are commonly the most valuable.” Mud Pies and Butterflies has great value, for it is our family’s memory. In time it will house the key to our past. Today I celebrate ‘Mudpies and Butterflies’ unlocking the memory of one full year.
Here is to moving forward and still holding tight.
Mom
*If you read the blog, I encourage you to sign up as a ‘Follower’ on the left side panel. As you know you do not need to do this to continue reading ‘Mudpies and Butterflies’. Once you become a Follower you do not receive anything, nor are you spammed. It is a tool to help gage readership as well as help in the future needs for our memory bank.*
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Band of Brotherhood
My breath has been taken away… The same feeling I experienced in seeing you boys for the first time blessed me again. Today, you two locked eyes and shared in a quiet moment. It was as if just the two of you existed alone. There was no noise. You quietly sat together and smiled to one another reaching for the others hand. Kaden when you went to get up you kissed the top of Ashton’s head. Ashton your eyes followed your brother out of the room as far as your head could follow… This is life at its best. This is the good stuff.
I see growth in each of us. As we develop as individuals we are growing together as a unit. Today I was blessed to witness this first hand. Boys, you are forming a rich and exclusive relationship to call your own. A relationship in its purest form founded upon trust, kindness and comfort. It is coming with ease as are the parameters. I watch you interact and it is as though you know the other better than I. Is this possible? Do you?
Kaden you are smitten with your ‘bubby’. My heart dances for how caring and tender you are towards him. You bring him toys. You sit next to him sharing a storybook or treasure. If he is in danger of rolling into a space or reaching something not to be had you protect him in saying, “No No”. And although you have been known to drag him by an arm I do know it was an action of love. Your objective: to keep him safe. You do not leave the house nor go to bed without kissing ‘baby’. He is the first person you ask for when you wake. He is never forgotten about and always desired.
Ashton you are in wonderment every time you see Kaden. You follow him with your eyes in and out of a room. You observe him playing, eating and doing. You roll up along next to him to be close. You have a soft smile only reserved for him. When you cry he wipes away a tear and you coo. You trust him.
You are becoming a team- a band of brothers.
I am confident as the days turn into years you two will share in many tender moments. As these experiences take place the band will tighten between you two. I think what you two are forming cannot be explained. As the world stands around the outside of you we will never fully understand the intricacy of the bond you share and from the inside neither of you will be able to explain it. And this is love. To be a witness to this is life at its best. This is the good stuff. This is the best stuff.
I see growth in each of us. As we develop as individuals we are growing together as a unit. Today I was blessed to witness this first hand. Boys, you are forming a rich and exclusive relationship to call your own. A relationship in its purest form founded upon trust, kindness and comfort. It is coming with ease as are the parameters. I watch you interact and it is as though you know the other better than I. Is this possible? Do you?
Kaden you are smitten with your ‘bubby’. My heart dances for how caring and tender you are towards him. You bring him toys. You sit next to him sharing a storybook or treasure. If he is in danger of rolling into a space or reaching something not to be had you protect him in saying, “No No”. And although you have been known to drag him by an arm I do know it was an action of love. Your objective: to keep him safe. You do not leave the house nor go to bed without kissing ‘baby’. He is the first person you ask for when you wake. He is never forgotten about and always desired.
Ashton you are in wonderment every time you see Kaden. You follow him with your eyes in and out of a room. You observe him playing, eating and doing. You roll up along next to him to be close. You have a soft smile only reserved for him. When you cry he wipes away a tear and you coo. You trust him.
You are becoming a team- a band of brothers.
I am confident as the days turn into years you two will share in many tender moments. As these experiences take place the band will tighten between you two. I think what you two are forming cannot be explained. As the world stands around the outside of you we will never fully understand the intricacy of the bond you share and from the inside neither of you will be able to explain it. And this is love. To be a witness to this is life at its best. This is the good stuff. This is the best stuff.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Red Letter Day
It is a red letter day here on Pinecreek Way. Kaden went pee-pee in the potty!
I was in the shower and he asked to jump in. I asked him to strip down. He tore off his jammies and diaper. I opened up the shower curtain and he refused to come in. Well, past experience has taught me that I don’t allow him to runabout naked. I gave him two options: In the shower with me or get on his potty and stay put. He opted for his potty.
I poked my head out and checked on him. I had to remind him to sit back on the potty, which he did very quickly. I wrapped up my shower and see that a pile of toilet paper on the floor. As I always do I asked him if he went pee-pee in the potty. And as he always answers he replied, “Yes.” And to my surprise he did. He went pee-pee in the potty!
I was so excited. I was yelling and screaming in pure glee. He thought he was in trouble and started stepping back and frowning to begin crying. He soon understood the excitement. His frown turned to a smile. He was delighted with himself repeating ‘Pee-pee” and pointing to the potty. We instantly made two pee-pee in the potty phone calls to both Dad and GG who were at work. As he heard them answer he instantly smiled and with pride in his voice announced, "Hi! Pee-pee." Oh, how animated they both were with him. He felt good about this achievement.
I am keep good thoughts that we keep with the flow of things.
The picture was taken after the hoopla and the diaper replaced.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
I 'Dig' Two
We celebrated your birthday at Tanner Creek. This is the same park your ”Fun of One” party was hosted. Due to the rain the park closed the water feature for the season. There is a play area near the shelter. We (okay, I) chose your theme: Tonka Construction. You like dump trucks, tractors and etc, so it is fitting. We decided not to give goodie bags, but to provide your guests with yellow construction hats. They had the option to decorate their hat with paint, glitter glue, foam construction stickers or Sharpies (I am THAT cool!). We also brought in a small pool filled it with sand and put a few construction trucks and digging tools to play. The cake was your favorite: Banana Bavarian Crème filling with whipping cream frosting.
We will have your second birthday pictures taken with the Tonka truck Great Grandpa and Grandma Rardin gave you. You will wear the Carhartt sweatshirt and tee you received from Robert. It is going to be adorable! Our family is going to enjoy the year membership to The Children’s Museum from the Jones’. And of course Great Papa made a train for you, which will sit on a shelf. So lucky for your The River’s gifted you a fantastic train that you can build with blocks. Each gift you opened you turned around to “Ta Ta” and “GG” and said, “Off. Off.” The funny moment was after you opened “Dawa’s” gift of two motorcycles with a truck and trailer. You put the bike (hot wheel size) on the ground and literally tried to ride it! The crowd laughed so hard. The big reveal was your Harley bike from Papa and Grandma Kristi. Dad pushed as you rode around saying “ank ewe” to each of your guests.
Since the party you have been a Picasso coloring in the color book from the Newman’s with the art supplies and desk from GG. You cuddle up with Cookie Monster during Sesame Street from the Adams and want to read the ‘pee-pee’ book every night before bed that they gave you, too. You walk around squishing a singing dog from Aunt Jana and look forward to playing golf. You were hesitant to use your drill as it is a ‘no no’ in the garage. It took some coaxing, but now you build the days away, thank you Fradenburgs. You have enjoyed bath time with the characters from Toy Story the Newman’s kindly gave to you. I listen to static all day from the walkie-talkies “Ta Ta” gave you and fight you tooth and nail to keep the lawn mower outside. The tape measure stays in your pocket and the bath paint in the closet until Ta-ta comes to play! Dave and Megan scored on the cars. They make noise and light up. You sit outside and drive them under and over things.
It was great to see Janet and special to have your Great Great Grandma and Aunt there. Your Gx2’s get such a kick out of you! Uncle Jake looks forward to playing baseball (Go, lefty!), so he will help you defeat the tball set he got you. As always, it is delightful to see the Molner’s.
You have no idea how lucky you are in love. You have so many people who care for you. It warms my heart how special you are to so many. You shared in special moments with lots of different people throughout your day. Different individuals took you to the playground as well as crafted hats with you. When the time came we sang happy birthday and you blew out your candles in one breath. May all your wishes and dreams come true!
“Ta-ta” and GG came through (as always). GG brought me a coffee early in the morning to get the party planner awake in me. And “Ta-ta” arrived at 9:30 to help me get it together, hang signs and set up as Dad worked until 11:00. GG ran last minute errands and helped Ta-ta in tear down duty. Phew. It takes a crew to get these events up and down; and I would not have it any other way!
It is an honor to host your party. It is a time to celebrate you, your birth and life to date. I hope you enjoy this tradition as much we do! I ‘dig’ you being two and really do believe it will be ‘loads’ of fun.
Friday, September 10, 2010
GO GO GO
I sit and watch you with great anticipation.
There you go… awe, darn. Oh, oh, oh. You almost have it. Up up, there you go! Almost, buddy. Uh, uh, oh those darn hands. Keep going, go, go, go…
Any day you are going to start crawling. You have been rolling about since you were four months old and have zip zoomed around the house faster than I can catch you! The army crawl started about a month ago. You have been getting up on all fours for a couple of weeks. Today, you have started to rock it. You rock back and forward. You have taken a few scoots backwards, but I have not seen you travel by knee in the forward direction.
Daddy and I know we will soon have a crawler on the floor. I am not ready for this milestone. I am so not ready to let you go into the world alone (even if it is in our living room)! I had to pose the following question, “Is it wrong to push Ashton down during his crawling attempts?” And I have to share there was great support in keeping you tummy up. I am not against you being mobile for logistical reasons, but rather emotional reasons.
But as Mom’s do I cheer you on. I help you to find the balance and build the muscle needed to crawl. I swallow the lump in my throat and find the words of encouragement to applaud your efforts. But secretly, I imagine lightly tapping you back down to the ground. And I am quickly brought back down to my own reality as I see you in position a little bit longer with your tongue out for concentration. I am proud, glad for you and excited for us. You are prepared for this milestone. I am simply not prepared to let my baby set out and go, go, go.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
We Are Two
Kaden,
Where has the time disappeared? I have to shake my head and close my eyes to bring me back to the reality that you are two years old. I have a two year old. Boy, how old do I feel? I feel as if I have always had you and yet you are still so new to me, new to the world. I am in awe of how quickly you have grown into a little person. It terrifies me that sooner than I like I will be forced to call you a young man. I am not ready to let go of my baby. I don’t know what mom is ever ready to see her baby turn to tot to young man into an adult. I can see how quickly time disappears. Aren’t we lucky I have eyes everywhere; and I do my best to see every moment of your life unfold!
You are careful, funny and nurturing. If I was given three words to describe you those would be it. This is how I have described you since you were a baby-babe. I guess we are who we are from the very start. You have given me the gift of laugher like I have never known. . I have never laughed more. You are one funny guy. I cannot wait until you choose to speak. The days will have me in stitches. This morning is a great example.
Today you woke up and I knew you were two from the tantrums you preformed throughout most of the morning. Well, this Mama won’t stand for it. As someone once told me, “Kaden is stubborn, but you are determined.” I don’t know if truer words were ever spoken. In the middle of a tantrum I looked at you and said, “Birthday or not this attitude is not okay. Being two isn’t as bad as being the Mom of a two year old. It all stinks. We are in it together, so we have to deal with it! The good news is they tell me it gets better!’ It was like magic. You stopped looked at me with your crocodile tears and red runny nose and simply said, “k” and walked away. I giggled inside, for you had no idea what I said and yet you were so agreeable. I won.
I see you sit and play with many of the same toys you received on your first birthday. You love the yellow train from the Jones family. Daddy dressed you in your camo vest for one of its last wears that the Adams’ gifted you. You asked me to bring down the rocking horse The Glover’s had given you. And to watch you climb up and ride without any help took me back a year. This same day last year you didn’t walk! It is amazing how far we come in a year. I don’t see you growing before me, but it shows in your outgrown clothes and new learned abilities. Your awareness to the world is one that constantly reminds me you are growing-up.
I watch you get bread ‘toes’ out of the bag, open the door to the toaster, cram the bread onto the rack, slam the door shut and press the button. Each time I see this I question where you learned this. I didn’t take you aside and show you this step-by-step routine. As you climb into your car seat and put your straps on I rub my eyes to be certain you did do exactly that. I didn’t ask you to show me you could do this. Who taught you? I hear the Velcro of your diaper coming undone finding you wanting toe-pee on the potty. How did you know to do this? This past year you have been absorbing your surroundings and teaching yourself along the way. You sit alone reading a story aloud laughing at the same parts we do when I read the same story to you. Your memory is in overdrive creating an imagination that I cannot believe you have at the inexperienced age of two.
You have started to test boundaries. Your wants are becoming demands. You communicate through tantrums, which I hope will dissipate as your vocabulary grows. You continue to go to bed without hesitation often asking for ‘nye-nye’ in the middle of the day. You enjoy cooking dinners with me and garage time with Dad. The water is your greatest pleasure. Motorcycles are a fondness turning to passion. You have a best buddy, Bryson and a couple of best girls namely the Brooklyn’s. You love to create through coloring mostly with ink pens. You could spend all day every day outside. Your nature is to organize, clean-up and fix things. You are the first to run for a towel to absorb a spill, put a bottle on its side up right and use a wrench in the right area to fix a bike. You are a smart cookie.
Today is the day we celebrate you, but birthday or not I celebrate you every single day. I celebrate the person you are becoming. I celebrate the person you are making both your Dad and me become. I celebrate your love, trust, humor and creativity. I celebrate first words, new actions and learned behaviors. I celebrate the quiet moments and loud overtures. I celebrate mudpies and the wonder of butterflies all because of every single day all because of birthdays.
Happy birthday Mister Man, happy-happy birthday! I wish you a year of wonderment and exploration. Take time to follow the ants in the driveway and chase cotton in the wind. Get out and play in a puddle without your shoes and swing a stick at a bush. Test me as a person and mother each day. Scream from frustration, but mostly with glee. Fight me to induldge in cake, cookies and M&Ms every day. Just do it. Enjoy the joys of being two.
I will.
I love your guts,
Mom
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Anything Like Your Dad
Boys,
I heard this song last month. I pulled the car over to the side of Harrison Street in Milwaukie. I wanted to hear the words. As I listened I had tears rolling down my face. I was moved...
I remember saying I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok
Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said "You see that thing right there well you know what that means"
And I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if he's anything like me
He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride hes bike to fast
End up every summer wearing something in a cast
He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street
He's gonna get in trouble oh he's gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me
I can see him right now knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass trying to melt a Tonka truck
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on
That'll be his first love til his first love comes along
He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens
And heaven help him if he's anything like me
He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast
Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass
He's gonna get caught skipping class and be grounded for a week
He's gonna get in trouble we're gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me
He's gonna love me and hate me along the way
Years are gonna fly by I already dread the day
He's gonna hug his momma, he's gonna shake my hand
He's gonna act like he cant wait to leave
But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out If he's anything like me
there's worse folks to be like
Aw he'll be alright if he's anything like me
- Brad Paisley "Anything Like Me"
There will probably come a day when you think and may even say aloud that you don't want to be like Dad, or either of us. I think every child says this to their parents. It is a rite of passage within childhood. However, if you two are anything like your Dad you will be better than alright. I promise.
I heard this song last month. I pulled the car over to the side of Harrison Street in Milwaukie. I wanted to hear the words. As I listened I had tears rolling down my face. I was moved...
I remember saying I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok
Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said "You see that thing right there well you know what that means"
And I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if he's anything like me
He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride hes bike to fast
End up every summer wearing something in a cast
He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street
He's gonna get in trouble oh he's gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me
I can see him right now knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass trying to melt a Tonka truck
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on
That'll be his first love til his first love comes along
He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens
And heaven help him if he's anything like me
He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast
Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass
He's gonna get caught skipping class and be grounded for a week
He's gonna get in trouble we're gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me
He's gonna love me and hate me along the way
Years are gonna fly by I already dread the day
He's gonna hug his momma, he's gonna shake my hand
He's gonna act like he cant wait to leave
But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out If he's anything like me
there's worse folks to be like
Aw he'll be alright if he's anything like me
- Brad Paisley "Anything Like Me"
There will probably come a day when you think and may even say aloud that you don't want to be like Dad, or either of us. I think every child says this to their parents. It is a rite of passage within childhood. However, if you two are anything like your Dad you will be better than alright. I promise.
Raining Pee-Pee
It must be fall! I think Spring and Fall are my favorite seasons. I do say this at the start of every season. I am fickle. The change of the seasons brings so much newness and each has such a magic all its own. I am thankful seasons last only three months it is about this time I become bored ansy for a change!
Here it is the first signs of fall. The leaves are starting to change (early!). It is the first day of school. I hear the school bus as earlier than we do the garbage man. Not my favorite part of the season! Gosh, Brookyn is in the first grade and Bee enters Pre-K. The days of fall are forever changing...
The air is crisp and the Oregon weather is setting in. It rained. It poured. It was dark early tonight. Another part of the season I could pass-on. I will miss the long days of summer when the sun greets us at 5am and disappears after 9pm. I will miss sitting out and watching Kaden splashing about in the pool. But, I can see there is so much to look forward to this fall (for Kaden reminds me yet again) that not only are seasons forever changing, but so are my boys.
We are driving in a dark rain. As the rain rolls down his window he traces the drops with his fingertips. Adam and I hear him giggle and say, "Pee-Pee!" I look back at him and then to Adam asking if I heard him correctly. "Mama, pee-pee, Mama, Mama, Mama, pee-pee." Yep, I guess so. He has an obsession with going to the potty, but never going pee-pee. I figured this is what he wanted to do- go to the potty.
He continues being excited and proud. After further observation Adam and I realize Kaden is pointing to the raindrops. He is associating the streams of water with, well, PEE-PEE! We laughed and laughed. The kid spoke and I can only guess come next fall he will associate rain with Heaven having plumbing issues.
We continue our drive into all the fall fun ahead pee-pee and all.
Here it is the first signs of fall. The leaves are starting to change (early!). It is the first day of school. I hear the school bus as earlier than we do the garbage man. Not my favorite part of the season! Gosh, Brookyn is in the first grade and Bee enters Pre-K. The days of fall are forever changing...
The air is crisp and the Oregon weather is setting in. It rained. It poured. It was dark early tonight. Another part of the season I could pass-on. I will miss the long days of summer when the sun greets us at 5am and disappears after 9pm. I will miss sitting out and watching Kaden splashing about in the pool. But, I can see there is so much to look forward to this fall (for Kaden reminds me yet again) that not only are seasons forever changing, but so are my boys.
We are driving in a dark rain. As the rain rolls down his window he traces the drops with his fingertips. Adam and I hear him giggle and say, "Pee-Pee!" I look back at him and then to Adam asking if I heard him correctly. "Mama, pee-pee, Mama, Mama, Mama, pee-pee." Yep, I guess so. He has an obsession with going to the potty, but never going pee-pee. I figured this is what he wanted to do- go to the potty.
He continues being excited and proud. After further observation Adam and I realize Kaden is pointing to the raindrops. He is associating the streams of water with, well, PEE-PEE! We laughed and laughed. The kid spoke and I can only guess come next fall he will associate rain with Heaven having plumbing issues.
We continue our drive into all the fall fun ahead pee-pee and all.
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