Memory Bank

Kaden everyday so much happens and so much of what happens I hope to never forget. Unfortunately, my memory is not as long as I would like. Fortunately, this journal (or blog) is the keeper of my memory. I am sure there will be other posts similar to this one, but with new ‘never forget’ habits and memories. As Ashton grows there will be ‘never want to forget moments’ and I will sit and jot down these as well.

You bring us our shoes when you want to go bye-bye.

You toss your pacifier out of your mouth as soon as I say we are leaving.

The first animal noise you made was for an elephant.

You always notice when I paint my toes a new color.

You say ‘eeeee’ when you request to have your teeth brushed. This is the sound I ask you to make as I brush your front teeth and ‘awe’ when I brush your molars.

“Guls” (calling out to Gladys and Gertrude) is the first thing you say when you get outside.

Anything (shoes, comb, remotes…) becomes a phone. You prop it on your shoulder as it is against your ear to mouth. We hear you chatter away in your own language and laughing hysterically with hand motions.

You have to put on deodorant in the morning.

You say “Mama” 1076 times a day.

If someone is leaving and you want them to stay you will start talking gibberish to them. As they get closer to the door your voice gets louder. When the door opens you almost yell. You start to walk out the door never stopping to take a breath as you continue to tell your story. It keeps Papa an extra 10 minutes every time!

You insist Dad wear a hat when he is home 99% of the time. It irritates him. I laugh.
You ask to go ‘bye-bye’ when we are already out-and-about.

You ‘shoosh’ us midsentence with index finger to your lip with ‘shoosh-shoosh-shoosh’. The funniest part is that you do this even when we are not loud and could be praising you!

‘Ank ewe’ is your version of the phrase thank you, which is one of my favorite things you say… along with ‘awey’ for sorry.

You hear any diesel truck and call out for “Dad!”

You love water in any form and find a way to play in it.

“Bike!” You can spot a motorcycle a block away.

You will stop what you are doing to go find Ashton to give him a pet on his head and give him a kiss. It is so sweet. You will then go back to what you were doing.

It doesn’t matter what I am doing you pull up a stool to the kitchen counter to help me.

“Ease” is please.

Your favorite place is the garage with Dad and Papa.

You hate to leave Great Grandma and Grandpa Church’s house.

Everything is an ouie: freckles, toe nail polish and even a sticker.

You have to sit on Grandpa Church’s lap and eat off of his plate.

“Nah” is no and is usually said very casually.

All your kisses are open mouth.

I Love You This Much

Kaden you are becoming more and more independent. As we approach the milestone of the terrible twos I see more and more challenges ahead. We hear more no’s and absolutely not’s in our home. And all of the no’s are said out of love.

No, you may not use the toilet water to rinse your tooth brush. I love you this much.
You may not go down the stairs head first. I love you this much.
Absolutely not, get down from that counter top. I love you this much.
No, Kaden. No, you may not play out front all alone. I love you this much.
It isn’t going to happen, Mister. You cannot sit in the fireplace. I love you this much.
Nope. Stop screaming and squirming around you will have your diaper changed. I love you this much.
Uh, sorry. You cannot shave, clip your own nails or start your own bath. I love you this much.
Yea, no-no. We are not going to pick up that cigarette butt. I love you this much.
Hey, stop it! You will go to time out. I love you this much.
I swear to God. Do not bite me again or I will bite you back. I love you this much.
Uh-oh. You can’t feed the dogs all of your breakfast. What will you eat? I love you this much.
No you cannot stay up past 7:30. I love you this much.
Sorry, kiddo. We don’t eat dinner in the living room. We sit at the table. I love you this much.
This is your warning. I will not reply to you when you scream in my face. I love you this much.
Ewe. Gross, don’t! We don’t open our mouths for puppy kisses! I love you this much.

I love you enough to set limits and guidelines in hopes to give you the gifts of discipline, respect, consideration, fairness, security, rational, reason and caution. There will come a day when you think it is out of spite or perhaps I am too old to get it. When this day comes I may repeat what Daddy says, “If you don’t like it you should have had me!”Regardless, I promise my reason will never be, “Because I said so” and no matter my reason will always be “Because I love you this much”.

What's For Dinner?

Today we fed you 'solid' food. Actually, it was (dreaded) rice cereal. I don't know how we find ourselves feeding you from spoon to mouth. Truth be told, recently I had a conversation sharing that the single least favorite 'Mom Job' on my list is solid feeding. I rush through it. I feel like it takes forever! And today, there you were sitting in your Bebe Pod with Daddy ready to take photos of your first feeding. I cannot believe we are entering this stage!

I have a confession, I hesitated in feeding you. I held the spoon with a shaky hand. I held back the tears and felt my throat cramp. I looked over at Dad and he knew I was having a 'moment'. It is a feeding! What could I possibly have to become emotional over? Well, let me tell you. Once you took this first 'bite' my baby would be entering a new stage. A stage I was not ready to draw back the curtains to welcome new change. I cannot keep you boys as my littles, forever. I am a work in progress.

We have chosen to feed you after Kaden goes to bed. So, at 7:15 you get to eat your dinner. Sorry! Your older brother has been abundantly generous in trying to give you sips of chocolate milk and bites of goldfish crackers. We deter him from this, so we don't want to confuse him! As far as he knows you are only hitting the bottle. Shhh!

I gave you your first bite. I thought you would gag. You have such a quick reflex. To our surprise you did just fine. We giggled at your bitter face, but all in all you did great. It took you a while to get the hang of what we were doing. You drooled the cereal out of your mouth and I would scoop it back in. After a few 'bites' we noticed you were tiring. We take for granted our muscle memory. Eating is a lot of work!

Soon enough you will have steak and chocolate cake, but for now let us look forward to introducing you to pears. And Mom will look forward to sleep filled nights now that we have a full tummy. Deal?

Cost of Children

In having to figure out life insurance policies Daddy and I have literally sat down figuring the value of raising the two of you. Whoa. It is expensive. A few weeks ago I was driving and I listened to a radio DJ read a letter outlining the costs of raising a child. I pulled the car over, turned up the radio and listened fixedly. It has taken me several searches on Google to find, but I want so badly to share what she read that I continued the search. Tonight I found it. I read it aloud to Ashton and cried all three times. I love this piece and would not change a breath of it. My regret is that I didn’t create it for you, but the gift is sharing what was has already been written (2005).

The government recently calculated the cost of raising child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock. We have two kids, so this figure for our family is $320,280. That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the things we could have bought, all the places we could have traveled, all the money we could have banked if not for Kaden and Ashton. For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless.

But $160,140 isn't so bad when it is broken down. It translates into $8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a day per boy.

Just over a dollar an hour. Still, some might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be rich. It's just the opposite. There's no way to put a price tag on:

• Feeling a new life move for the first time and seeing the bump of a knee rippling across your skin.
• Having someone cry, "It's a boy!" then hearing the baby wail and knowing all that matters is he's healthy.
• Counting all 10 fingers and toes for the first time.
• Feeling the warmth of fat cheeks against your chest.
• Cupping an entire head in the palm of your hand.
• Making out da da or ma ma from all the cooing and gurgling.

What do we get for our $160,140?

• Naming rights. First, middle and last.
• Glimpses of God every day.
• Giggles under the covers every night.
• More love than your heart can hold.
• Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
• Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds and warm cookies.
• A hand to hold, usually covered with dirt or jam.
• A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
• Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, I never have to grow up. I get to fingerpaint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs and never stop believing in Santa Claus. I have an excuse to keep reading the adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies and wishing on stars. I get to frame rainbows, hearts and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there's no greater bang for my buck. I get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a sliver, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless. I get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first fight, first date, first time behind the wheel. I get to be immortal. I get another branch added to my family tree, and if I’m lucky, a long list of limbs in my obituary called grandchildren.

I get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications and human sexuality no college can match. In the eyes of my children, I rank right up there with God. I have the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground you forever and love you without limits, so one day you will, like me, love without counting the cost.

Slumber Party With Grandma

Ashton,

Tonight you have your first sleep over at Grandma Glover’s house! This is the beginning of many special times with Grandma. She cares and loves for you boys so very much. A few weeks ago she explained that every other weekend she would like to have one of her grandchildren for an overnight stay. How exciting for the three of you.

Her plan is that every sixth week or so you will spend special time with her having a sleep over. You will be ‘her boy’ having all of her attention as you're spoiled in her love relishing in being suffocated in her snuggles and drowning in sweet kisses. You will be held more than not. The first wince of unhappiness and it will be solved. It is a night all for and all about you and her.

You are so fortunate to have so many people wanting, no needing, time with you. I am sure over the course of the years memories will flood to you in all the special times spent with her. She is the get down and dirty playing in the sand after a smores around the campfire Grandma. She is comfort in homemade lunches on a rainy day Grandma. She is get up and down 82 times to meet your needs Grandma. he is Christmas cookie decorating Grandma. She is warm towels out of the dryer Grandma. She is ask about your day and listens without interruption Grandma. These are occasions that will build traditions and comfort as you grow.

I remember when Kaden shared in his first sleep over with Grandma. He was an infant as well. You all sleep in bed with her to make sleepovers that much easier. Anyway, Kade stated fussing. She found his pacifier on the bed and in the dark tried to give it to him. He was not taking it and growing more frustrated with her. She was feeling the open area trying again and again. Well, Grandma learned that it was his ear she was putting the pacifier in- not his mouth! She was hesitant to share this incident with Dad and me, but when she did we laughed so hard we had tears. I still chuckle over this story. I wonder what ‘secrets’ you two will have!

Enjoy your first of many special Grandma slumber parties. Give her a break and try to sleep through the night. Give her a sweet laugh. Show her a new trick of sucking on toes or rolling across the room. We will miss you, Sprite Guy. See you tomorrow!

Redneck Days

You might be a redneck if you use your fridge during a heat-wave to cool off your toddler …

Kaden, one of your new favorite places is the refrigerator. The moment it opens you run for it. However, the interest isn’t the food inside, but to sit on the bottom ‘shelf’. You sit there and hangout for as long as we allow you to do so. Today was no different than any other in regards to your interest. I opened the fridge and you came running. You bully your way into the fridge and sit. The comedy is found in the fact that today is the hottest day of the year. The house temperature read 81 degrees and there you were feet kicking out from under the fridge door just being as cool as could be.

Fourth of July

Happy 4th of July! What a great day it was. It was smack dab in the middle of Daddy’s three day weekend and not a single drop of rain! We couldn’t get much luckier… We had a great dinner and watched fireworks to celebrate the day. Kaden even stayed up two hours past his bedtime. It was a true party.

We went shopping at the TNT tent for some toddler friendly fireworks. Since Kade’s bedtime is 7:00 and it isn’t dark until 10:00 we needed day friendly options. We found minimal noise and bright colored ones. We spent the afternoon at the Fradenburg’s enjoying friendship and a great bbq dinner. Kade enjoyed playing with their oldest daughter who is three while Ashton cooed along with their youngest daughter who is four days older! We headed home around 7:00 to begin the personal show.

Daddy lit the fireworks out on the street as Kade sat on Papa’s lap in the driveway. You were in awe. Ashton you slept through the show. You remained in the car in your car seat happy as a clam. I am surprised you slept through all the festivities! You sure looked adorable doing it! As Dad lit each firework we had a rule that Kade had to be seated in the same place. Dad would light the wick (with some torch like thing) and the show would begin. We would hear you blowing and your see your hand reaching towards the street saying, “Ha! Ha! Ha!” This is your version of hot. It was really sweet.

Now when we go out to the drive way you point to the street alerting me that it is “ha” with your arm extended to it.

Every year keeps getting better and better. Next year we will once again see fireworks for the first time as Ashton views the show. I am sure Kaden will want to be far more hands on and we will have to stop in order to remind him to stay seated!

OSO

Kaden you have a favorite brown bear, Oso. His name comes from a cartoon we watched a few times: Special Agent Oso and the theme of the show is you are ‘oso’ special. I found the name fitting with the bonus being you can pronounce it! You love him. You sleep with him, but know he can’t leave the house. I k now when I go to get you out of your crib you will have him under your arm. He is your ‘sniffing’ buddy.

I have explained that you like to pick fuzz and tickle it under your nose. You have done this for about a year. At first I thought it was a smelling habit, but I have discovered it is a sensation you like. You choose soft whispy fibers and softly feather it across the tip of your nose. When you are tired you do it more. There are days I get you after a nap and there is a ‘cotton ball’ under your nose trapped between your upper lip and pacifier. It is so gross!

You pick at your blankets and stuff animals as you fall asleep. I am sure Oso receives much of this love, too.

Anyway, you brought Oso to me and the two of you sat on my lap. You repeated, “Ouch” and pointed down. I figured we were reliving your scraped knee from the Ice Cream Party (three weeks prior). As we seem to talk about it often, so I told you to save the trauma drama for something far more worthy. You pointed down again this time saying, “Owie!” You were concerned. I looked down and there he was- bald! Poor Oso has a scar were the fur has been lovingly pulled out for your sniffing comfort. There is a bald strip of fur on the bear’s forehead and another near his eye. I laughed and laughed. I had to confirm what I was seeing and tossed Oso to Dad. He too laughed and agreed: Yep, Oso has an owie, Kade.

You kissed his head and patted it with care. You jumped down and grabbed Oso by the arm. You walked away holding him with your right hand as the other reached over pulled out fur bringing it to your nose. What will we do when your Oso is completely, err- ummm, ‘thin on top’? When this day comes we will both have anxiety!