Cost of Children

In having to figure out life insurance policies Daddy and I have literally sat down figuring the value of raising the two of you. Whoa. It is expensive. A few weeks ago I was driving and I listened to a radio DJ read a letter outlining the costs of raising a child. I pulled the car over, turned up the radio and listened fixedly. It has taken me several searches on Google to find, but I want so badly to share what she read that I continued the search. Tonight I found it. I read it aloud to Ashton and cried all three times. I love this piece and would not change a breath of it. My regret is that I didn’t create it for you, but the gift is sharing what was has already been written (2005).

The government recently calculated the cost of raising child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock. We have two kids, so this figure for our family is $320,280. That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the things we could have bought, all the places we could have traveled, all the money we could have banked if not for Kaden and Ashton. For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless.

But $160,140 isn't so bad when it is broken down. It translates into $8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a day per boy.

Just over a dollar an hour. Still, some might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be rich. It's just the opposite. There's no way to put a price tag on:

• Feeling a new life move for the first time and seeing the bump of a knee rippling across your skin.
• Having someone cry, "It's a boy!" then hearing the baby wail and knowing all that matters is he's healthy.
• Counting all 10 fingers and toes for the first time.
• Feeling the warmth of fat cheeks against your chest.
• Cupping an entire head in the palm of your hand.
• Making out da da or ma ma from all the cooing and gurgling.

What do we get for our $160,140?

• Naming rights. First, middle and last.
• Glimpses of God every day.
• Giggles under the covers every night.
• More love than your heart can hold.
• Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
• Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds and warm cookies.
• A hand to hold, usually covered with dirt or jam.
• A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
• Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, I never have to grow up. I get to fingerpaint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs and never stop believing in Santa Claus. I have an excuse to keep reading the adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies and wishing on stars. I get to frame rainbows, hearts and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there's no greater bang for my buck. I get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a sliver, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless. I get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first fight, first date, first time behind the wheel. I get to be immortal. I get another branch added to my family tree, and if I’m lucky, a long list of limbs in my obituary called grandchildren.

I get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications and human sexuality no college can match. In the eyes of my children, I rank right up there with God. I have the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground you forever and love you without limits, so one day you will, like me, love without counting the cost.