1. Learn a language
2. Fly in a hot air balloon
3. Ride in a helicopter
4. Take a cooking course
5. Own a trademark
6. Visit every state in the union
7. Attend an Olympic event
8. Be published
9. Oprah
10. Learn to swim
11. Volunteer with CASA
12. Take guitar lessons
13. Take a trip with my Sister
14. Have a family (come one, come all) vacation to Disneyland
15. Renew wedding vows at years 5, 7, 15 and every fifth year thereafter
16. Walk a portion of the Arizona Trail
17. Go to an inaugural ball
18. Own a book store
19. Find my happiness
20. Be on a DIY show
21. Live 100% debt free
22. Swim with dolphins
23. Learn to knit and/or crochet
24. Give blood (at least three times!)
25. Road trip to San Fran with Auntie L
26. Own a boat with a cabin cuddy
27. Learn to play tennis
28. Take an art course
29. Reupholster a piece of furniture
30. Learn to sew
31. Go on an African safari
32. Take a train ride
33. Sing one song at a karaoke bar
34. Buy a home
35. Take sailing
36. Kayak in the sound
37. Camp in a national park
38. Vacation in a penthouse
39. Play $500 on red in Monte Carlo, Monaco
40. Attend the Kentucky Derby
41. Fundraise at a formal event
42. Blow glass
43. Ride an elephant
44. Plant a garden large enough to feed my family through the seasons.
45. Own 2 ct diamond earrings
46. Live abroad
47. Learn to can
48. Stomp grapes in a vineyard
49. Read “Gone with the Wind”
50. Eat lobsters in Maine
51. Soak in Greenland
52. Buy a cake from Cake Boss
53. Volunteer at a soup kitchen on a holiday
54. Cruise the Panama Canal
55. Go to Cuba
56. Go to the Santa Claus House
57. Oktober fest in Germany
58. See turtle hatchings on the coastline of Alabama
59. Go to Mardi Gras
60. See Rockefeller Center during the holiday
61. Cedar Point Amusement Park
62. Learn a magic trick
63. Become financially educated
64. Go to Graceland
65. Walk the underground tunnels in PDX
66. Make Chambord
67. ALPHA
68. Watch AFI’s list of 100 films
69. Take a trip with Darla, Mom, Kayla and our boys- 3 generations
70. Learn to make crepes
71. Plan an AOII reunion
72. Take a one day RT to LA to eat at Spago in Beverly Hills
73. Teach an adult to read
74. Jury duty
75. Own a beach property
76. Work a season in a tourist town
77. Go on an art tour throughout Europe
78. For a year challenge my market budget to be 1800.00 (35 a week!)
79. Witness Northern Lights
80. Ride along Adam
81. Madonna concert
82. Go on a silent retreat
83. Build with Papa
84. Live without technology for a week
85. Witness a shuttle launch
86. Do a scavenger hunt
87. Complete a crossword
88. Learn the game of cribbage
89. Study my family tree
90. Premier at Grauman's Chinese Theater
91. Horse Carriage ride
92. Earn my scuba certification
93. Build a house with Habitat for Humanity
94. Mullum Mullum Creek
95. Generational family photo- all sides
96. Hire an interior designer
97. Witness my children’s passion
98. Recognition on the Babble 50
99. Mend my past
100. Find my peace
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The Day My Baby Was Gone
It was like most Oregon fall days- dark and dreary, but this is where the normalcy ends. Kaden stayed with “Amama” Glover for his monthly overnight. Ashton slept in a crib. He slept until 6:00am. This is two hours past his normal wakeup hour. As the day continued more and more developments unfolded. It is as though in one day my baby is gone.
Sure, he finally sleeps in until a normal waking hour and one would think I would be more grateful. I have been asking for a later wakeup, but I now realize I must be careful what I ask for. I didn’t know that when the 4am cries disappeared, so is my baby. He army crawls. He has such power behind his arm and torso it is astounding. He has been crawling like this for months and I am still surprised at how fast he gets from A to B.
Today, he climbed the stairs. He made it to the second stair and with all his might was trying to make it up to the third stair. He huffs, grunts and sighs. He screams with delight and excitement as he tries to climb up to meet Adam and I. We are both stunned to see he has made it up the flight so quickly. I of course tell him that is a no-no. And like his two-year-old brother ignores me and goes back again and again. He is determined to be up where all the packing action is.
As I am packing up the master bedroom I hear cheerleading and applause. I kept about my packing. I run down to ask a question. I learn that he just crawled on all fours in front of Curt, Cheryl and Adam. What? He did? I guess all that army crawling is for the babies. He is moving on… literally. I don’t acknowledge it. I cannot. I have to keep my head focused on my mission: packing. I cannot think about the fact my baby is gone.
His eye to mouth coordination is fantastic. He gobbled his peas and avocado at dinner tonight. I think he landed food in the target more times than Kade. He cleared his tray. I watched him and it was as if he didn’t need me, my fork and hand. All he needed was more food in front of him. He was eating dinner unassisted and all alone. His little grunt was my queue for more food.
He likes to wiggle out of my arms to explore on the ground. He goes from place to place in the living room. He is pulling himself up with balancing himself on hearth, laundry basket and anything else he can balance himself. If you ask me, Ashton is getting a little too bigheaded. I mean a crawler one hour doesn’t mean a walker the next. I understand parents are supposed to lend support and optimism, but sometimes ya gotta bring the man down! I am not above sharing that I am not ready to see him out grow the baby stage.
As if this day couldn’t get any worse.
We go to the mall for a little (when I write little I mean 15 minutes little as it was a nightmare!) time trick-or-treating. We are leaving and I am placing him into his seat. He is sitting straight up and down in his reclined baby carrier. He was fighting me as I was trying to place him back to back. He was getting fussy and pushing back. I had to actually use more force than one should have. Again, another sign he is paying close attention to his two-year-old brother.
I am all for my boys to develop. I want both of my sons to explore, challenge, study and discover self, things, places and etc. I just didn’t prepare to see so much development in one day! He was here last night and gone tonight. Who wants to lose their baby in one day? As I write this I watch him sleep in his swing and listen to his sweet little snore. I see him cuddled up in a baby blanket and hold myself back from grabbing and clinging to him. I cannot hold him back forever. And I cannot cling to him to bring comfort.
He cannot always be my infant wrapped and swaddled in my arms. He will not go on nursing from a bottle. He will not forever smile with only gums. Diapers will not continue to remain on my market list. He will not be my tiny guy for all eternity. But one thing I do recognize is that regardless of how quickly he develops and walks into life he was blessed as my baby as he is my youngest. Since I am told he is the last he will be my baby for all eternity.
Sure, he finally sleeps in until a normal waking hour and one would think I would be more grateful. I have been asking for a later wakeup, but I now realize I must be careful what I ask for. I didn’t know that when the 4am cries disappeared, so is my baby. He army crawls. He has such power behind his arm and torso it is astounding. He has been crawling like this for months and I am still surprised at how fast he gets from A to B.
Today, he climbed the stairs. He made it to the second stair and with all his might was trying to make it up to the third stair. He huffs, grunts and sighs. He screams with delight and excitement as he tries to climb up to meet Adam and I. We are both stunned to see he has made it up the flight so quickly. I of course tell him that is a no-no. And like his two-year-old brother ignores me and goes back again and again. He is determined to be up where all the packing action is.
As I am packing up the master bedroom I hear cheerleading and applause. I kept about my packing. I run down to ask a question. I learn that he just crawled on all fours in front of Curt, Cheryl and Adam. What? He did? I guess all that army crawling is for the babies. He is moving on… literally. I don’t acknowledge it. I cannot. I have to keep my head focused on my mission: packing. I cannot think about the fact my baby is gone.
His eye to mouth coordination is fantastic. He gobbled his peas and avocado at dinner tonight. I think he landed food in the target more times than Kade. He cleared his tray. I watched him and it was as if he didn’t need me, my fork and hand. All he needed was more food in front of him. He was eating dinner unassisted and all alone. His little grunt was my queue for more food.
He likes to wiggle out of my arms to explore on the ground. He goes from place to place in the living room. He is pulling himself up with balancing himself on hearth, laundry basket and anything else he can balance himself. If you ask me, Ashton is getting a little too bigheaded. I mean a crawler one hour doesn’t mean a walker the next. I understand parents are supposed to lend support and optimism, but sometimes ya gotta bring the man down! I am not above sharing that I am not ready to see him out grow the baby stage.
As if this day couldn’t get any worse.
We go to the mall for a little (when I write little I mean 15 minutes little as it was a nightmare!) time trick-or-treating. We are leaving and I am placing him into his seat. He is sitting straight up and down in his reclined baby carrier. He was fighting me as I was trying to place him back to back. He was getting fussy and pushing back. I had to actually use more force than one should have. Again, another sign he is paying close attention to his two-year-old brother.
I am all for my boys to develop. I want both of my sons to explore, challenge, study and discover self, things, places and etc. I just didn’t prepare to see so much development in one day! He was here last night and gone tonight. Who wants to lose their baby in one day? As I write this I watch him sleep in his swing and listen to his sweet little snore. I see him cuddled up in a baby blanket and hold myself back from grabbing and clinging to him. I cannot hold him back forever. And I cannot cling to him to bring comfort.
He cannot always be my infant wrapped and swaddled in my arms. He will not go on nursing from a bottle. He will not forever smile with only gums. Diapers will not continue to remain on my market list. He will not be my tiny guy for all eternity. But one thing I do recognize is that regardless of how quickly he develops and walks into life he was blessed as my baby as he is my youngest. Since I am told he is the last he will be my baby for all eternity.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Pumpkins for Punkins
What has eight kids under the age of three miss their afternoon nap with a paintbrush in their hands? Kaden’s Annual Pumpkin Party, of course! Our little guests consisted of Brooklyn, Bee, Bryson (zon), Sadie, Laney, Melae and Kaylee.
This is the second year for this event. For me, it signifies fall has arrived. I love going to the pumpkin patch, but this party screams: FALL. I look forward to planning it and this year started in July. I know. I know. I am a planner to a fault. Hey, but remember we achieve some good parties out of this fault! This year we requested that the guests arrive in costume or festive colors. Bee wore a witch hat and her wickedly cute tee. Sadie was Tinkerbell and Laney was a pretty pink/purple fairy. Kade you wore your’ I want my mummy’ shirt and Sprite you were christened with the “My 1st Halloween” onsie. It was fun to see that there was some spirit at the party. Dad and I wore our orange gear as did Lacey.
All the kids run amuck in and out. All received a pumpkin in coming inside. We lay plastic all over the kitchen floor to catch all the paint and masterful art that could bless the floors surface. Leave it to Ashton to take a big bite out of it before the guests arrive! All the kids sat down and wanted to paint. Stickers were an okay choice, but pens were better. Before I knew it we were in the midst of pumpkin artists. Brooklyn wins the prize with her very carefully painted ghost. Bryson wins the prize for most quickly bored. He wanted to be in the middle of the action not confined to Mom’s lap. Sadie wins for most thoughtful as she made one for little sister, too.
The kids seemed to really enjoy their time. The big kids (parents) were very gracious. What everyone must know is Adam and I love to do this. Boys, we want you to have magic. It is the gift of memories filled with tradition and fun. We want you to be surrounded by all things KIDS. The added bonus is for all of us big kids it allows us an occasion that we set time aside to visit and catch-up. We all have crazy schedules and these events allow all of us to slow down and touch base. I love this. It lets us all have a piece of magic.
Auntie Larissa cleaned up most of the mess. This was truly awesome. It let me snap pictures of all the fun and catch up to guests that I had not been able to visit.
Everyone indulged in cupcakes and mini candy bars with juice and smiles. There are many fond memories, but there is one I must share. Sadie is standing outside on the slide rubbing her belly announcing to Adam, Kayla and a few others, “It is time!” Adam came in to tell Hans his three year olds role play and it was time for her to have her baby. It was roll on the floor funny. Hans asks Sadie, “What are you doing?” She explains that she is having a baby and pretending to be a mommy. I laugh typing those words. Stop growing up- all of you!
We close the party with Kaden being an absolute pill and a kid group photo.
It was such a fun two hours. All the little’s left tired eyed with their pumpkin in tow. Kayla and I chatted up our typical storm out in the rain as Bryson complained with whines in the backseat of her car.
Next year, perhaps we will host it one week earlier and most will be old enough for a game. Ooooh, the possibilities of a bigger party! I better get to planning, now.
Thanks to GG, Great Grandma Church, Auntie Larissa, Layla, The Fradenburgs and Danette for brining all the little’s, which allowed all the fun to happen! It was neat to have Papa and Cheryl pop in to help Kade and Brooklyn with their painting fun, too. We will see you ALL next year.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Lows and Highs
Am I drowning? I feel uneasy. I feel overwhelmed and perhaps lost. It is said, “The soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears.” If this is true I wonder why my spirit feels broken. I have cried so many times in the last weeks my body inside and out should be clean- shiny and squeaky sparkling clean. I am not. I feel quite foggy, monotonous and dull. I have found myself in one of my life’s lows.
We all have periods when life seems to be riding along on a cloud. We sail and move through life as if everything we touch turns to gold. Life is good and there are no complaints. We also have periods when life is dark and lonely. Murphy himself could be lurking in the shadows for the reason that literally all that can go wrong is. Don’t say it and try not to think it, for fear something will be tainted. I knock on wood until my knuckles are sore.
I guess the purpose of sharing this is simple: Mom’s are human. I am a person. I write to share my experiences with you, so you know me. I also want to build awareness that I am not just Mom, but I am Nicole. I am a woman and a human being whom has concerns and worries as well as hopes and dreams. I also share this because I owe you boys an apology.
I may be experiencing personal challenges and hardships, but this is no reason to take out my stresses on you. I have realized during this period I have shorted you. I have given you less in my patience. I have presented you with less time. I have not offered my full attention. I have not been present. I am here with you every day, but as of late it is in body and not in mind. I am thinking of this-and-that. I am doing this-for-that.
I apologized to you both last night and I meant it. I am truly sorry. I cannot say it will not happen again. What I can say is that I am aware. I will continue to have self awareness and be optimistic this has been yet another lesson learned during my crash course in Parenting 101. As you get older I ask you to hold me accountable during these periods. Please bring me back to my center, which is smack dab between you two boys. I expect this of you as I will do this for you too. Accountability is an important virtue to uphold.
In sharing that I am not only a mom, but a person I never want you to be burdened with my stresses or concerns. One day you will understand what I mean by this, but I have found a secret place for my tears to land. It is not for your growing minds to be neither alerted to nor aware of what whirls around in my life. I know, “This too shall pass…” and in knowing this I need to remember who I am is not Nicole, but a Mom. Your Mom.
And being your mom is the highest of the highs my life will ever know.
We all have periods when life seems to be riding along on a cloud. We sail and move through life as if everything we touch turns to gold. Life is good and there are no complaints. We also have periods when life is dark and lonely. Murphy himself could be lurking in the shadows for the reason that literally all that can go wrong is. Don’t say it and try not to think it, for fear something will be tainted. I knock on wood until my knuckles are sore.
I guess the purpose of sharing this is simple: Mom’s are human. I am a person. I write to share my experiences with you, so you know me. I also want to build awareness that I am not just Mom, but I am Nicole. I am a woman and a human being whom has concerns and worries as well as hopes and dreams. I also share this because I owe you boys an apology.
I may be experiencing personal challenges and hardships, but this is no reason to take out my stresses on you. I have realized during this period I have shorted you. I have given you less in my patience. I have presented you with less time. I have not offered my full attention. I have not been present. I am here with you every day, but as of late it is in body and not in mind. I am thinking of this-and-that. I am doing this-for-that.
I apologized to you both last night and I meant it. I am truly sorry. I cannot say it will not happen again. What I can say is that I am aware. I will continue to have self awareness and be optimistic this has been yet another lesson learned during my crash course in Parenting 101. As you get older I ask you to hold me accountable during these periods. Please bring me back to my center, which is smack dab between you two boys. I expect this of you as I will do this for you too. Accountability is an important virtue to uphold.
In sharing that I am not only a mom, but a person I never want you to be burdened with my stresses or concerns. One day you will understand what I mean by this, but I have found a secret place for my tears to land. It is not for your growing minds to be neither alerted to nor aware of what whirls around in my life. I know, “This too shall pass…” and in knowing this I need to remember who I am is not Nicole, but a Mom. Your Mom.
And being your mom is the highest of the highs my life will ever know.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Poo Poo in the What?
I am in Safeway deciding between my favorite Pepperidge Farms cookie selections. I receive a text to call Adam ASAP, but it is not an emergency. Well, anytime I receive a text to call home it is important. I dial home, stat. I quickly realize I am on speaker as I am greeted by Kaden and Adam. I do hear some excitement in Kade’s voice, but I cannot make out exactly what he is saying. I am a bit confused.
Why is it when you cannot understand someone you talk louder? I do this. It annoys me. I annoy me. Anyway, I am standing in front of the cookies noticing my inside shopping voice is becoming louder and louder as I try to make out what Mister is saying. “Poo. Poo. Poo. Mama.” And then I hear Adam, “Tell mama what you did on the potty.” I take a step back and in an outside yelling in the playground voice say, “You went poo, Kade? You went poo in the potty?” I notice there are people around. And I start to talk a bit quieter. The excitement is electrifying. He replies with his famous, “Uh-huh.” And I take a little victory jump into the air and as I come down slap my leg with joy telling him, “It is a red letter day, dude!”
Again, I notice people in the aisle. A woman is smiling ear-to-ear at me. Two teenagers are giggling as they past me and the guy says, “Cool. That’s cool.” And I see another woman lifting her cane in the air wiggling it for his success. I continue the phone call telling him how proud I am. I cannot believe he went poo-poo on the potty. I cannot believe I was not there. I tell Adam to take a picture for me. It is a must in any baby book. It is monumental.
I hang up the phone with my now pooping in the toilet toddler and look at the women still in the aisle. I say with a loud whisper, “It is my baby… silly, but so exciting!” The woman with the cane explained it was indeed a red letter day and to tell him Lisa is proud of him too! She couldn’t leave the aisle until she heard the end of the conversation. How neat!
It is about darn time Kaden begins to poo where it belongs. Phew. Is this a sign for easier days ahead? Whatever it is I am thrilled he did this without coaxing, so I guess like all good things we just have to wait and it will come. We have officially had poo-poo in the potty success.
Why is it when you cannot understand someone you talk louder? I do this. It annoys me. I annoy me. Anyway, I am standing in front of the cookies noticing my inside shopping voice is becoming louder and louder as I try to make out what Mister is saying. “Poo. Poo. Poo. Mama.” And then I hear Adam, “Tell mama what you did on the potty.” I take a step back and in an outside yelling in the playground voice say, “You went poo, Kade? You went poo in the potty?” I notice there are people around. And I start to talk a bit quieter. The excitement is electrifying. He replies with his famous, “Uh-huh.” And I take a little victory jump into the air and as I come down slap my leg with joy telling him, “It is a red letter day, dude!”
Again, I notice people in the aisle. A woman is smiling ear-to-ear at me. Two teenagers are giggling as they past me and the guy says, “Cool. That’s cool.” And I see another woman lifting her cane in the air wiggling it for his success. I continue the phone call telling him how proud I am. I cannot believe he went poo-poo on the potty. I cannot believe I was not there. I tell Adam to take a picture for me. It is a must in any baby book. It is monumental.
I hang up the phone with my now pooping in the toilet toddler and look at the women still in the aisle. I say with a loud whisper, “It is my baby… silly, but so exciting!” The woman with the cane explained it was indeed a red letter day and to tell him Lisa is proud of him too! She couldn’t leave the aisle until she heard the end of the conversation. How neat!
It is about darn time Kaden begins to poo where it belongs. Phew. Is this a sign for easier days ahead? Whatever it is I am thrilled he did this without coaxing, so I guess like all good things we just have to wait and it will come. We have officially had poo-poo in the potty success.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
This Stinks
I don’t know what I did in my past life to have ‘poo’ as a reoccurring theme over the last years. I need to find a super naturalist, regressionist, hypnotherapist or an astrologist to learn why I constantly have to deal with poo situations! I can only think it has to be due to my past life. Is this a step up or is it a sentence for wrong doings? Either way, it stinks.
Adam and I are not pushing potty training. I think we should revisit this idea a-sap. I understand that we all get viruses. Our systems need cleaned out. Whatever the reason every person has experienced it. In the last six days Kaden has had diarrhea. He will go through a diaper every 30 minutes come the evening- 3-7pm we will change 6 or more diapers. I cannot be upset and am not upset about this. I feel for the guy, after all, it is uncomfortable for all of us. All kidding aside I do empathize and feel terrible for him each time I have to change his diaper. I dread it. I feel as though I am making him uncomfortable and brining him harms not the diaper and acid against his bum.
Kaden has a real interest in the potty. He strips down and with pride wants to sit on his potty. This last week I have caught him on multiple occasions disrobing for the potty. Immediately I yell, “STOP!” I know in that last Velcro of the diaper more is going to drop than his drawers. Here I am telling him not to pee-pee in on his potty, but last week I was making it a conversation throughout the day. What confusion he must feel.
Anyway, I go upstairs to get him after his morning nap. I open the door. It smells. I see my son squatting in the far left corner of his crib holding his knees trying to keep his balance. He isn’t saying Mama, but, “Gois”. I turn the light on and see not only a hunched over toddler, but a naked hunched over toddler. “Kaden Adam! Did you go poo in your bed?” He replies, “Uh-huh” as he hold out his hands. There is the proof… as if a puppy had been in bed with him a pile was right by his foot. He had obviously touched it and then grabbed his foot. I have been dreading the day. And it arrived: he played in his poo.
I am in a panic. What do I do with him? Ding-ding: the bath tub.
I hold him out in front of me like a spoiled bag of garbage. I spray him down with the showerhead. He is in pure dislike. He wants a bath. Negative. We have a job to do and this entails get him cleaned, sanitize the tub and crib, remove and wash all bedding, inspect the walls and floor of his room and get out of there.
I wonder aloud why we have recurring poo incidents in our home. I never thought Kaden would get to a point that he could enjoy a leisure bath instead of one ending in bleach disinfecting. To think there are careers that focus on fecal matter. They would feel so fortunate to visit our home, yet, I want to escape it!
All is clean and in good order.
I grab Ashton out of his swing. This has to be a joke! He had a blow out in his diaper into his onsie and pants. As I am changing him Kade brings me one of his own diapers. No joke- pooping mutiny on my hands. “Lay down, Kade. Mom will be right back.” All I can do to keep my sanity is keep changing the diapers. I figure if I am doing this and keeping with my daily responsibilities I have not lost it yet! But, man it stinks. I still cannot help wonder what I did to warrant all this poo.
Adam and I are not pushing potty training. I think we should revisit this idea a-sap. I understand that we all get viruses. Our systems need cleaned out. Whatever the reason every person has experienced it. In the last six days Kaden has had diarrhea. He will go through a diaper every 30 minutes come the evening- 3-7pm we will change 6 or more diapers. I cannot be upset and am not upset about this. I feel for the guy, after all, it is uncomfortable for all of us. All kidding aside I do empathize and feel terrible for him each time I have to change his diaper. I dread it. I feel as though I am making him uncomfortable and brining him harms not the diaper and acid against his bum.
Kaden has a real interest in the potty. He strips down and with pride wants to sit on his potty. This last week I have caught him on multiple occasions disrobing for the potty. Immediately I yell, “STOP!” I know in that last Velcro of the diaper more is going to drop than his drawers. Here I am telling him not to pee-pee in on his potty, but last week I was making it a conversation throughout the day. What confusion he must feel.
Anyway, I go upstairs to get him after his morning nap. I open the door. It smells. I see my son squatting in the far left corner of his crib holding his knees trying to keep his balance. He isn’t saying Mama, but, “Gois”. I turn the light on and see not only a hunched over toddler, but a naked hunched over toddler. “Kaden Adam! Did you go poo in your bed?” He replies, “Uh-huh” as he hold out his hands. There is the proof… as if a puppy had been in bed with him a pile was right by his foot. He had obviously touched it and then grabbed his foot. I have been dreading the day. And it arrived: he played in his poo.
I am in a panic. What do I do with him? Ding-ding: the bath tub.
I hold him out in front of me like a spoiled bag of garbage. I spray him down with the showerhead. He is in pure dislike. He wants a bath. Negative. We have a job to do and this entails get him cleaned, sanitize the tub and crib, remove and wash all bedding, inspect the walls and floor of his room and get out of there.
I wonder aloud why we have recurring poo incidents in our home. I never thought Kaden would get to a point that he could enjoy a leisure bath instead of one ending in bleach disinfecting. To think there are careers that focus on fecal matter. They would feel so fortunate to visit our home, yet, I want to escape it!
All is clean and in good order.
I grab Ashton out of his swing. This has to be a joke! He had a blow out in his diaper into his onsie and pants. As I am changing him Kade brings me one of his own diapers. No joke- pooping mutiny on my hands. “Lay down, Kade. Mom will be right back.” All I can do to keep my sanity is keep changing the diapers. I figure if I am doing this and keeping with my daily responsibilities I have not lost it yet! But, man it stinks. I still cannot help wonder what I did to warrant all this poo.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Live Art: Little Indian
I have always heard, “Kids are fast…” Yeah, I know they are. I know that in a blink of an eye a crawler can be out the back door or a walker running into the pool. I am the Mom and have eyes everywhere. I plan for it and I can see it happen before one of you boys takes the first creep into danger. But being Mom is like any other job and we error. We get comfortable. We make expensive mistakes with our commodities ie children.
Today was one of those days I was too comfortable; and I let the eyes on the back of my head rest. Kaden and I sat at the table coloring away with his washable ink pens. Mr. Sprite was army crawling about all over the floor. As Kade and I were coloring I needed to go to the bathroom. I jumped down, kissed him and reminded him to color only on the paper and up the stairs I went. It doesn’t take very long to go to the bathroom, wash hands and return. I come down and turn into the kitchen and I gasp so deeply I have feel light headed. I have no words.
My hands slap my face and cover my mouth. I hear Kaden in the background being my copy cat and gasping exactly the same as I had. I feel my eyes burning realizing I have no blinked as I am staring down at Ashton who is colored in red marker. He has red marker in his nostrils, under his armpits, colored eyelids, coating his palms, along his ribs and three horizontal lines like an Indian from his lips to cheeks. He was a canvas of Kaden’s work. He has taken live art to a whole other level. I observed and stared taking in everything I was seeing. I was stunned. The first words I said, “Jesus God. You are not fast. You are high-speed Guinness Book material.”
Washable marker my ass! That business barely came off the kitchen floor. My infant was traumatized in the bath from the force of my firm washing to erase the marks. He is crying. I am telling Kaden he should be the one getting brutally cleaned. I kept rubbing and raking across his soft skin not knowing if the ink was being removed or it was his skin reddening due to my rubbing. When all was done I am laughing. I have no idea how I am going to survive these two boys.
I removed the markers. They are hidden. Our little Indian has recovered. Kade is definitely not a student of Van Gough or Dali. He is much more chaotic like Picasso. For now we will steer his creativity to paper letting him explore live art later. I don’t want to squelch what may be a new surrealist approach in painting or art. After all, who knows? His talent may keep me comfortable in my old age.
Today was one of those days I was too comfortable; and I let the eyes on the back of my head rest. Kaden and I sat at the table coloring away with his washable ink pens. Mr. Sprite was army crawling about all over the floor. As Kade and I were coloring I needed to go to the bathroom. I jumped down, kissed him and reminded him to color only on the paper and up the stairs I went. It doesn’t take very long to go to the bathroom, wash hands and return. I come down and turn into the kitchen and I gasp so deeply I have feel light headed. I have no words.
My hands slap my face and cover my mouth. I hear Kaden in the background being my copy cat and gasping exactly the same as I had. I feel my eyes burning realizing I have no blinked as I am staring down at Ashton who is colored in red marker. He has red marker in his nostrils, under his armpits, colored eyelids, coating his palms, along his ribs and three horizontal lines like an Indian from his lips to cheeks. He was a canvas of Kaden’s work. He has taken live art to a whole other level. I observed and stared taking in everything I was seeing. I was stunned. The first words I said, “Jesus God. You are not fast. You are high-speed Guinness Book material.”
Washable marker my ass! That business barely came off the kitchen floor. My infant was traumatized in the bath from the force of my firm washing to erase the marks. He is crying. I am telling Kaden he should be the one getting brutally cleaned. I kept rubbing and raking across his soft skin not knowing if the ink was being removed or it was his skin reddening due to my rubbing. When all was done I am laughing. I have no idea how I am going to survive these two boys.
I removed the markers. They are hidden. Our little Indian has recovered. Kade is definitely not a student of Van Gough or Dali. He is much more chaotic like Picasso. For now we will steer his creativity to paper letting him explore live art later. I don’t want to squelch what may be a new surrealist approach in painting or art. After all, who knows? His talent may keep me comfortable in my old age.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Apples
I have a list of things I want to do before I come to the end of my journey. And since moving back ‘home’ I have an adventure partner to seek out the Best of Portland in parks, experiences and sites. Auntie L and I seek out what we have always wanted to do in the area, but for whatever reason have never gotten around to doing. These past four years we have been making a conscience effort to really grab a hold of Portland and its beauty. Today, we took Kaden and Aston to an apple orchard to pick apples.
I had romanticized picking buckets and buckets of apples. I planned to take these many pounds of handpicked locally grown apples and make muffins and sauces thus stocking the freezer for the year. I was going to make baby food and live off the land! Then reality struck. We brought two kids and one Civic with limited space. It was just Auntie L and I and we quickly realized we needed four extra limbs per body to simply get down to the orchard well enough get the apples back to the car.
Once we made it down the dirt and grass trail there in front of us were beautiful apple trees. But I must share immediately going down the trail it was soon too obvious that I needed a wagon NOT a stroller for the terrain. This epiphany allowed us to understand the employee’s raised eyebrow look towards us as we strolled in! After pushing pulling and a whole lot of sweat and swearing we made it to the apple gold mine. There were 80 varieties amongst 100s of trees. And to be honest, most of the varieties we’d never heard of before this moment.
I thought for sure this would be something Kaden would enjoy. Acres and acres of open land to run about all he wanted. He loves apples, so surely he would be delighted to be in the trees, right? How wrong I was. It seems he wanted to be two today and bring along all the tantrum, whining and disinterest a two year old has in their little bodies. He whined, cried and complained most of the time. He wanted held and carried. So, as all good mom’s do I ignored him.
Ashton was pretty happy gumming his apple. He was happy in his bucket eating away at his fruit. Auntie and I plucked away. Kaden crabbed more and more. I found a ladder and this sparked more of his interest. He is definitely job oriented. If he has a purpose in something he is onboard and thrilled. So, I climb the ladder and hand off the apples to him to put in the bucket. This idea came to me as seamless and ingenious. I will have my apples and he is entertained. I hear thuds into the bucket as each one is being thrown with great two year old might. So, we switch.
I let him stand on the ladder to help me pick. This works great until I see Ashton needing my help. To ask Kaden to leave the ladder was the end of the world. But eventually we pried his white knuckle safely from the metal bars and off we came. All I can think is why our aunt chooses to continue the dates with us? I mean really! It is more work than play on these types of ‘days’. God bless her, for she is so patient and easy going.
As our buckets are filling we wonder how we will push, pull and carry the stroller, two apple buckets and Kaden back to the store. Going out was far easier than going in. Why is that? It always seems like forever to go somewhere, but licitly split to get back. Whatever the reason I am thankful! We picked shy of 16lbs of apples and most were Lynda’s. I didn’t pick enough to complete my Martha Stewart list of goodies, but the day was worth it. We now know what to plan for next year.
I have decided that each new place, festival and experience together is a trial run. We check it out and get a feel for what it is. We then make a plan for our return. The best part of these adventures is the fun I have with Auntie L cannot be surpassed. Murphy’s Law is usually following us, which makes for more laughter and appreciation.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Light
I am challenged as a person every day by the fact that I am a parent. My patience stretched. My endurance dared. My knowledge tested. Out of the three that I fear the most is my knowledge. I will never know, nor pretend to know all the answers to your questions. I do promise and vow that together we will research and find the answer to what you seek. Although, there will be encounters that I am at a loss to explain much like this morning.
We were up at six this morning. Kaden you scuttle to the kitchen to check on the ‘guls’. Your job is to feed Gladys and Gertrude in the mornings and One and Two (the frogs) in the evening. You open up the back door to begin the daily task, but today in the dark morning something catches your eye. You close the door and point outside. From my level I thought you were pointing at the TV reflection in the slider. I explained this was the TV, but when I squatted down to see the world at your level you didn’t have this reflection. The only reflection was you.
You pointed out towards the yard and said, “Off”. You repeated this again and again. Finally it dawned on me. You wanted the neighbors to turn off their light! I asked you,” Turn the light off?” I hear you, “Uh-huh.” “Ite, off.” As we always praise a new word I share that I noticed you used a new word, “Good word, Kade!” I continue to try to explain that the light isn’t ours to turn off. You were growing very frustrated with me. You continue to request that the light be turned off. I continue to give you all sorts of reasons as to why the light is on. I realize I am trying to give reason to a 25 month old. It isn’t working.
As if the neighbor can hear our private conversation the light is turned off. Kaden is amused. He looks at me with a Cheshire cat smile, “Seeeeeee? Off.” The light was turned off. I shake my head and get off of my knees and say, “Yep, Kade it is off.” I have no way to have you understand it wasn’t by our will or command. It isn’t mine or ours. I dread the other requests you have that I cannot meet, do not understand or cannot answer to your satisfaction. I know there will be many moments that even I am ‘off’ and I hope together we can shed our own light.
We were up at six this morning. Kaden you scuttle to the kitchen to check on the ‘guls’. Your job is to feed Gladys and Gertrude in the mornings and One and Two (the frogs) in the evening. You open up the back door to begin the daily task, but today in the dark morning something catches your eye. You close the door and point outside. From my level I thought you were pointing at the TV reflection in the slider. I explained this was the TV, but when I squatted down to see the world at your level you didn’t have this reflection. The only reflection was you.
You pointed out towards the yard and said, “Off”. You repeated this again and again. Finally it dawned on me. You wanted the neighbors to turn off their light! I asked you,” Turn the light off?” I hear you, “Uh-huh.” “Ite, off.” As we always praise a new word I share that I noticed you used a new word, “Good word, Kade!” I continue to try to explain that the light isn’t ours to turn off. You were growing very frustrated with me. You continue to request that the light be turned off. I continue to give you all sorts of reasons as to why the light is on. I realize I am trying to give reason to a 25 month old. It isn’t working.
As if the neighbor can hear our private conversation the light is turned off. Kaden is amused. He looks at me with a Cheshire cat smile, “Seeeeeee? Off.” The light was turned off. I shake my head and get off of my knees and say, “Yep, Kade it is off.” I have no way to have you understand it wasn’t by our will or command. It isn’t mine or ours. I dread the other requests you have that I cannot meet, do not understand or cannot answer to your satisfaction. I know there will be many moments that even I am ‘off’ and I hope together we can shed our own light.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Catching Up
Every day is something new… Things are busy, so here is a quick recap:
Kaden you jump up and when you land you clap your hands saying, “Yay!”
Ashton you officially find your sitting position from your tummy.
Kaden you have great association. Every baby in a magazine is “Zon”. This is your word for Bryson.
My favorite new word, “me me” for excuse me. You use this when you interrupt or grab something from my reach. It melts my heart every time I hear it. Dad actually caught onto what ‘me me’ means. Go Dad!
Kaden you have started to have a case of the mine’s when it comes to Ashton army crawling over to take a look or play with the same toy.
Ashton you finally eat 3 square real people food meals.
We have had our first physical altercation. You slapped your brother on the head and then quickly kissed him, rubbed his head and said, “Ouch!” As if doing this was going to save you from time-out, which it didn’t.
You crawl in and out of your car seat without help.
Ashton you become enchanted by the television. You will be in the middle of play and something catches your eye or ear and you turn to the TV. You will watch it for quite a while.
Kaden officially sits at the table on a stool vs using his chair.
Kaden enjoyed his first cup of hot cocoa after a chilly walk.
Kaden you jump up and when you land you clap your hands saying, “Yay!”
Ashton you officially find your sitting position from your tummy.
Kaden you have great association. Every baby in a magazine is “Zon”. This is your word for Bryson.
My favorite new word, “me me” for excuse me. You use this when you interrupt or grab something from my reach. It melts my heart every time I hear it. Dad actually caught onto what ‘me me’ means. Go Dad!
Kaden you have started to have a case of the mine’s when it comes to Ashton army crawling over to take a look or play with the same toy.
Ashton you finally eat 3 square real people food meals.
We have had our first physical altercation. You slapped your brother on the head and then quickly kissed him, rubbed his head and said, “Ouch!” As if doing this was going to save you from time-out, which it didn’t.
You crawl in and out of your car seat without help.
Ashton you become enchanted by the television. You will be in the middle of play and something catches your eye or ear and you turn to the TV. You will watch it for quite a while.
Kaden officially sits at the table on a stool vs using his chair.
Kaden enjoyed his first cup of hot cocoa after a chilly walk.
The Pumpkin Patch
Every year we search out the perfect pumpkin patch. We leave thinking that THIS cannot be it. The next fall rolls around and we begin the great search again. This year I think it is unanimous and we found The Pumpkin Patch. Yes, that is its name. What a great day out at Sauvie’s Island.
Of course we had to dress in themed black and orange colors. It is a fun day, so why not make the most of it and go themed. I cannot wait until the boys are older and they can go in a Halloween costume. I am still surprised that Adam wears his orange and black without complaint. GG, Bee and Ta-Ta came in their Halloween garb. Papa and Cheryl joined in and went black. Fun!
We decided to go early. I wanted to beat any afternoon rush. And boy, were we glad for our 10 am arrival. There is so much to do and see. Thankfully we got through most of the activities that had lines before there was a wait. We figured out our plan and went for it.
Kaden you were drawn to the big John Deere tractor. You and Dad climbed on up for a ‘drive’. We headed into the barn to see the animals. Ashton watched the Quail and Kaden you watched the rabbits. You made the correct animal noises as you saw the different animals. It is so funny to hear! The big adventure was the hay ride. This year Ashton and Papa sat it out. The rest of us hoisted ourselves up onto the bed and into the patch we went.
There were many times I thought we were going to lose GG right off of the side. Her hay bail was slipping off to the side and it was a rough ride bouncing her all about. Poor little Brooklyn sad on her lap and as I thought I was slipping grabbed her leg to keep me steady. As if her 28lbs is going to keep my butt on the truck? It was a reaction- nothing personal, Bee! The ride stopped in the middle of the patch. One would think that this would be the purpose of going to the pumpkin patch- to pick a pumpkin. WRONG. We sat on the truck as the pickers loaded up their great pumpkins. We carried on with the ride and got off. Perhaps, one year we will join in this picking tradition, but for now we will buy clean pumpkins (out of crates) from the pumpkin patch store.
There was a little kid’s cow train for Bee and Kade to ride. You both passed. And we moved on to delicious snacks and food. Holy smacks, who would guess that the pumpkin patch would have such great food fair? We enjoyed pork sandwiches, hot dogs, fresh picked ears of corn, kettle corn and soda. I played with Bee and Kade in the U-Pick garden. Bee thought this ‘secret garden’ was the best. She ran through the rows yelling, “You can’t catch me, Auntie Cole.” She is right. I couldn’t. Three year olds must have super grip shoes and stealth speed to survive without incident on the slippery Oregon ground. She took Auntie L and then Cheryl for a long look and smelling adventure as the rest of us finished up our snacks.
I don’t think any of us have ever experienced a corn maze until this year. What a hoot. I can share that I could see us lost all day long. Then again, as the three year old has super grip shoes and stealth speed why wouldn’t she have internal GPS? She guided us to turn left and right as we made our way through the first half of the maze. And I kid you not; she got us to the center of the heart. The theme of the maze: The Heart of Oregon. We rang the bell (many many) times to announce we made it to the center.
We head out to conquer the second half. I cannot remember if we led ourselves back to the hearts center once or twice. Needless to say we got lost. I wonder how many times one person or group as returned to the center trying to find the exit. Papa decided to take charge and get us out. He got us turned around one time and then straight to the exit. The wrong exit as he took us back to the beginning entrance! We all had our fun at his expense. I guess only three year olds do come with GPS units.
We headed over to the pick-your-pumpkin-out-of-a -crate area. Bee and Kade were enthralled with the mini pumpkins. “Awe, baby” and gave loves, rubs and kisses before throwing back into the group. Adam and I picked out the pumpkins for Kaden’s Annual Pumpkin Party. It was time to go and a challenge to get the tots steered away from the baby pumpkin crate.
It was a great fall day and an ideal pumpkin patch temperature. We left as the crowds were trying to make their way in. It was just what our family needed- to play, enjoy and laugh. But who wouldn’t need that kind of day? Good thing it is the beginning of my favorite time of year… many of these types of days are upon us through the end of the year!
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