Little Hot Hands

There comes a time in every parent’s journey when we have to sit down with our child to discuss right from wrong explaining that there is a difference in sharing, yours and there’s. And continue in more detail that it is wrong to take what is not yours or what is not offered to you. However, how does a mom of a thirteen-month-old do this?

Seriously, I am at a total loss; Adam is at a loss. How do we explain to our son that he cannot have little hot hands?

Kaden is not the best shopper. He has a 20 minute span of time he allows for any shopping cart expedition. I think he times it from the moment he is seated and buckled… ready, set and go! Mom has exactly 20 minutes starting at this point until all shoppers and employees witness (visually and/or hear) a complete toddler melt down.

Tick-tock… we are off.

I have to gather party supplies for the upcoming First Annual Pumpkin Decorating Party, which of course Kaden has asked us to host. We love a good social so Adam and I obliged. Anyway, I have my list until it is ripped out of my hands. It is half in Kaden’s mouth while the other half floats out before the cart.

I grab my list from his mouth and try to maneuver within a very tight aisle. As I am nearing the front of the cart starting to bend over I see Kaden has set himself free. He has come out of his buckle! He is peering over the front of the cart. It is as though he is thinking of jumping overboard. I yell, “Kaden sit!” as if he is one of our dogs. “Kaden sit!” doesn’t exactly work. I finagle my way to save the day rescuing the boy who doesn’t even know he is in distress.

I am Mom of the day. I can’t take a bow, for I know I have to keep the flow. The clock is against me.

I am busy trying to make out the bleeding ink from the partially eaten list. I hear the rustling of plastic and then a soft noise on the side of the cart. Kaden is taking it upon himself to reach behind him tossing out of the basket items he doesn’t believe we need for his party. According to him, we needed to scratch: paper plates, napkins, crayons and a large plastic bowl. The large Halloween bowl was pitched several times; I finally put it on his head like a hat. It stayed there.

A fellow shopper observes the battle. At this point, I know my time is very limited and the meltdown is only minutes away. The fellow shopper hears our conversation as Kaden garbles back at me as I explain he needs to sit tight. She interrupts, “Oh, wow. Your son is much like my husband. He doesn’t think I need to purchase most of the stuff that I buy either!”

I am picking out the products as he realizes the aisles are narrow and as a bonus his arms have grown. He reaches out… voila! He is able to grab this-and-that. He looks at me with his mischievous smile and softening brown eyes as he holds tight his new found treasure… a towel. I try to remove the towel from his grasp and he begins to white knuckle it. I am bigger. I win. He cries. I walk faster.

I begin to move quicker. I am no longer shopping. As he tosses items out of the cart it feels as though I am back in our living room picking up his toys. I pick up a toy and he focuses on something he shouldn’t have i.e. the laptop or a remote. I continue to pick up packaged napkins and plates he has chucked and he grabs goods off the shelf. I confiscate the items from his dimpled hands. It is a horrible and tiring cycle.

I think the cart tossing game is his decoy to shop for himself.

Thanks to all of his game play obstacles and fake outs we are 10 minutes into shopping overtime. I head straight to the checkout. Whew! We made it to the finish line and he hasn’t started to fuss. I am safe. I unload the cart onto the belt. I pay and we leave.

Little Mr. Hot Hands was such a good little shopper!

We go home and I show Adam the party supplies. I am unpacking the bags as I share the statement from the fellow shopper. I pause. I know this isn’t ours. I didn’t buy this, did I?

I locate the receipt and scan down the items column. I surely did! I bought a package of two toothbrushes and a pack of gum. Hmmmm. I didn’t put this on the belt. Oh, wait! I left Kaden alone all the way at the other end of the cart as I was waiting to run my debit card. I left him leering at all the compulsive buys hanging on the narrow shelf at the checkout lane.

The plus is he isn’t a kleptomaniac. We have hope; we did pay for the items. Is the next step a pat down upon leaving the store? He is THIRTEEN MONTHS of age for crying out loud!

I guess he taught me the lesson of sharing, yours and there’s as best a one-year-old can. If you buy something it is yours…even if you sneak it. Funny, much like a Kleptomaniac he hasn’t remembered the items he just had to have.

I have been waiting for the day when his little hot temper allows me to complete a shopping trip without timed agility and aerobic energy. I now add to the wait for his little hot hands to refrain from ‘buying’ on his parent’s credit.

It is true, what is ours really is their's.