It Takes a Village...

I have spent the last few days catching up to time. I have realized the time is gone, so I am wasting current time trying to get back fragments of the time I lost last week... It seems foolish to continue this cycle.

Last week was a long week. It was a sad and scary week.

When you are ill having a one-year old and an unborn it becomes difficult to make a rational decision as to what is important to do. I have to care for both of my children. I was forced to choose: If I continued my daily routine the stress could harm the baby, but if I was on bed rest who would care for our son? I ran through our ‘People List’ and everyone has a seemingly full plate and how selfish to add my issues to it. Adam I agreed that this time we had to be the selfish ones and reach out for help. Of course, we reached out to family.

Adam and I had to make the hard decision: I take care of the baby and he takes care of Kaden. PERIOD. There are two kids and two parents. It has to be done.

The week leading up to my admittance Adam worked long days and took care of Kaden as I rested upstairs. We were trying to avoid admittance. I know these days were difficult in caring for Kaden and worrying about us upstairs. Thank goodness for Curt who checked in on my boys keeping them company and bringing laughter to our son! Adam made me follow all the orders. I was under his house arrest.

Last week I was overfilled with gratitude.

I was supposed to work and without question Toni was happy to go in for me. This was a huge relief, for someone has to feed the burger hungry microbrew seeking population. I worried Mom would have to work (much past her already) longer hours due to me. In my book this was unacceptable. So, I am very appreciative to Toni for picking up those days so I could concentrate on us.

Monday, my first day of full bed rest. What a miserable day. I thought the previous week was stinky being on moderate rest. How wrong I was. I felt fine, but forced into bed and was able to get up to use the bathroom. Sex and the City Marathon it was.

Thank goodness for Lynda. She came at 9 Monday staying until 3:30. All day I heard her playing with Kaden. During the moments he was upset I was only steps away and could do nothing. It is surreal to watch someone else care for your child as you stand there doing nothing. It was emotional to tell my son I couldn’t pick him up as he is crying and reaching for me. I pass him off to someone else. It makes my stomach uneasy even a week later.

Tuesday, after nap Inz and Josh came for Kaden. One more day of full bed rest to (hopefully) stop the ailments. I can tell I am not fairing well. I feel weaker and weaker. I am surely not going to tell anyone this. I know Providence is just waiting to win this battle. And they win. I have to go in. I am not calm and Adam is at work. Perfect. What do we do with Kaden? What do I do with me? Oh gosh… I recite our mantra and remind Adam of it as well.

Keeping to our promise I went to Providence and Adam stayed behind to see Kaden and take over some necessities needed for a longer stay. Adam met me up there after the 3rd and successful IV poke, but just in time for the blood draw. I want out and do anything to be released. The medication and fluids make me feel so much better. My throat is no longer dry. My lips do not fix together like they have been glued. The cramping is lessening; I am able to hold down water. Good signs mean I go home. WOOT.

Auntie Lynda took a personal day on Wednesday to help if needed. I was optimistic. And soon, I was calling in the favors! I reverted with my ailments. I had a couple r/x’s and needed some simple foods from the market. It has to be such an inconvenience to come just for those tasks. And she did so with a smile and good conversation. I wasn’t good company, but I enjoyed having her here as I was still laid out.

Lynda leaves and I rest. I give it 8 hours and it becomes more intense.

As each of my days became harder Mom answered phone calls day and night also helping Adam with his uneasy and anxious feelings. She listened calmly as my whimpering became more difficult to understand. And no she were never “helpless” I needed her voice and it did what it was supposed to, for it reaffirmed that the hospital is where I needed to be not where I should be avoiding. Her mommy job was soon known once I had orders for my second admittance.

Mom was my chauffer, sense of calm, humor and love on this night. She held my hand during all three IV attempts. Okay, so she left to feed her hungry pains and left me alone as the IV therapist arrived to poke me. But this last round was quick and painless, so I forgave her. The 5 attempts at my blood draw were almost too much for me; I could see this in her eyes as phlebotomist repeatedly poked at me moving the needle around under the surface of my skin and had the never to call in a new poker person. Thank goodness for the nurse and midwife who even said enough is enough and I couldn’t take this anymore. And bam, the blood was taken. I was continuously calmed by Mom’s tender touch and conversations. She was a definite help to me.

Adam came later sitting in the lobby for most of the ‘fun’. The room was buzzing with too many people. I was starting to feel like a lab rat wanting it over vs. waiting for someone to enter the room so we could resume. He waited patiently to see us. I was relieved to tell him the dilation had stopped. We cried. He stayed until I began to fall asleep. He wanted to sleep in the room, but we have our mantra. I would see him in the morning.

The Church’s oh the Church’s. I am constantly telling Adam how lucky he (we) are to have the grandparent’s he (we) do. They came on Tuesday to take Mister for the day. They didn’t know they would have him through Thursday afternoon. SURPRISE! Between grandma, grandpa and Josh’s treatment I am sure Kaden felt like he was at Summer Camp. Kaden had long sleepless nights of being off schedule and in a different crib. Josh and Inez took turns caring for him through these hard nights and never have they grumbled. They helped to eliminate the anxiety of Kaden’s care so we could focus on my care. Grandma made us a couple homemade dinners and filled the freezer with quick dinner options. How awesome! What a gift to give after having our child for three days. I didn’t have to worry about the lack of groceries in the cupboard or if Adam was eating. He tends to not eat during times of stress.

Come to find out Great Grandma Rardin called NINE times to check on our status. When she couldn’t get Adam called Curt and the Church’s to ask about, “Our girl,” which is touching. We received so many wishes and blessings during the week. Our little family is surely wrapped in love.

It was several solid days of worry and concern. Today, we are doing well. My brusing has almost disappeared. I can hold Kaden without tender wrists or cramping. Life is moving forward while we PATIENTLY wait out the fullterm birth of Littlest Rardin.

It takes a village to raise a child. It does.

Over the last year I tweaked this proverb: “It takes a village to raise a new Mom.”

I am tweaking it again: “It takes a village to raise a family.”

My family is grateful for all the love, support and prayers sent our way from our village.