Framily

9/18/2009

Our family is fortunate to have friendships that span through generations. Adam has friends that are his parents’ friend’s children. I have friends who are the children of my parents. It is as though we have an extended family tree. The branch I now call “framily.” It isn’t just adding someone as an extension to our family. It is much more. I have been blessed to have a few overly special people in my life, but I have not known how to ‘label’ their importance. I never felt as though I could describe it accurately; and “framily” is exactly the term!

A few months ago, Kayla shared the term “framily”. This lady is my touchstone, my dearest of dear friends. Since hearing this word I have revisited it many times. What is this so-called “framily”?

It is to choose a friend to be family. It knows water can run deeper than blood. It knows in your heart of hearts you would do anything come hell or high water for these cherished people- just as you would for your biological family. It knows the answer is “Yes!” before the request or favor is asked; and it would always be returned. It is never keeping score. We do when we can without hesitation. It is a quiet understanding and stored secrets. It is someone who may know you better than those you were raised. Tonight, Kayla told me, "Our friendship is a bond that has been life changing." Could there be a higher complement? I second this emotion! “Framily” are people you want to share in your celebrations (marriages, pregnancies), bring to your victories (houses, jobs) and hold to in sadness (losses, disappointments) and sometime these people know before anyone else. “Framily” is a kinship.

I hope that we are the beginning of a unique ‘framily’ tree with the Buyas/Adams family. My Mom and Darla (Dawa) have been friends since middle school. Darla has been ‘framily’ long before I knew something beyond the term ‘like family’. Her daughter, Kayla, and I have known each other since Kayla was born. Jake and Blake have been friends with Lucas and Cody for years, too. Kayla and I reconnected in 2006. Kaden you are 10 months older than Kayla and Bill's oldest Bryson (Lil). What buddies you two are! Ashton you will be 10 months older than their baby boy due in December. This is also true for Toni and her son Mason. Mom and Toni have known one another since high school. I have known Toni's son since year one of his life. He graduates this year. I cannot wait to see where his life takes him. He is in my heart forever. They are 'framily.' I have the same hope for both Matt and Robert Molner. They are the son's of Bob and Pam, who are long time Rardin family friends. How neat! I imagine three generations experiencing, growing and being together. It is unique and a real gift to share in this multigenerational friendships.

Last night I shared with Mom (through a text message) how much Kayla means to me. She replied, “And that my dear is who your heart friends are. We all have many friends, but the ones that we hold dear to our hearts the ones that really, really get it- those are the ones. And in reality we have a few.” Oh, the ‘framily’ wisdom is all around.

The best part about being ‘framily’ with Kayla is the gratitude, respect, appreciation, honesty and love we have for one another. We thank one another weekly for our friendship. We honor one another’s choices. We have appreciation for the small and the big. Our love never goes unknown. We share the expression several times in a week. It may just be a quick “love you, friend” text or “I love you” after a phone conversation, but it is always said- always.

I have ‘framily’ in Arizona, Eric as well as Erin in Texas. I miss them every day and even more here lately. Our ties outlast distance and time. These are people I hope you boys come to know as you grow older. I cannot wait to introduce my entire family to these special people and their family. I love them with all of my heart.

“Framily” is an intertwining of friendship and family. And as you read this I imagine you will understand ‘framily’ as you boys have created your own expansion off of our tree. My ‘Mom hope’ is in many-many years I will be sitting at a party watching my son's children playing together with the grandchildren of our friends creating a circle of four generations. What a thought…