Monday, September 27, 2010

FOG

It was a rainy day. It was the first day that it didn’t feel like fall, but the beginnings of winter. It was cold, wet and foggy outside. It is dark until 6:00 in the morning these days. It was just one of those typical blah-zo Oregon days. It just made me one cranky Mama.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and wrapped myself tight within my robe as I sat down on the couch and looked through the front window. As I looked out I saw my refection. I was frowning and I had sad eyes. The winter blues are setting in. As I sat there I wondered how on Earth people do actually love these days. How can I say good-bye to the warm welcoming sun to greet dark dreary depressing days? It is ludicrous! I continued to sit and stare out into the day sipping my coffee becoming more and more depressed. The fog was moving and it felt as though if it could it would creep in and suffocate me.

As all the gloom is luring me into a Seasonal Affected Disorder I hear a scream outside. Kaden’s scream was shrilling. As fast as I jumped he ran into me out of breath but still able to shout, “Mama. Mama. Mama” He came to me like dew to a leaf- a thunderbolt through the sky. He grabbed my hand and pointed outside. At two it was as if he was He-Man dragging me to go with him. He continued to points as he bellowed my name. I noticed he had a look of surprise and bewilderment in his smile. It was not one of terror or of fear.

We get outside and he jumps up and down. And for Kade a jump is ¼ of an inch high. It is only noticeable because of his overly exaggerated knee bending and arm movements. He then leaned over the play-gate and pointed out into the yard. He swooshed his hand back and forth through the open air. He was touching the fog. It was as if I was seeing my angel touch the clouds. He was amazed at the fog. He was pleased to share his found treasure with me.

I sat down on the threshold of the door with my knees up and arms around them as I held my coffee. I sat and observed Kaden dancing around the clouds. He hopped and twirled. He giggled and tried scooping it up with the palm of his hand. It was breath taking. Once again, I see the world for the first time. This is the gift I receive as a Mom that is one of renewal. The drear no longer existed.

1 comment:

  1. wow..Beautiful. I love love love that your a mom Nicole. I feel like I am learning so much about you through your life as a mom now. Getting to know a different you- =)
    We watch the world through our children and things become so much clearer-They do for me. It is the little simple things in life that they enjoy, they bring it to our attention and then its then that we realize what joy life has to offer,things I would take for granted before, things i may have grumbled about before , that now have renewed meanings..
    Its through the lil things our children find so wonderful.. It changes our thoughts and changes how we are.
    Had I not had my kids, I dont think i'd ever found the joy that running through a puddle brings, or how fun dancing in the rain w/out a coat can be, or even the act of smelling a dandilion, knowing it does not smell goood,/may cause a sneeze... but ,you smell it anyway and smile knowing the joy it brings to y our child watching You enjoy something that makes THEM smile.
    ahhh,I just love it.
    renewal of life through the joys of our children.
    J

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