FAMILY PLANNING

Adam and I have made a decision. After “Sprite” is born we will not grow our family (biologically) any larger. Each pregnancy a blessing, but the stress put upon us due to my bodies intolerance is difficult for me and our families. We discuss the possibility of adoption in 2-3 years. As time moves forward we will revisit this idea. For now, we are concentrating on our choice for family planning.

There is one option: sterilization. Dun… dun….dun.

Sterilization for whom? Dun…dun…dun.

Adam and I both agree to wait until after the birth of the baby. It surprises me how many people ask if it is just in case something happens to one of our children we can have another. NO! This question actually offends me, which is no easy feat. Another baby would not replace nor fill any void if this tragedy stuck our family. We wish to see how the delivery plays out and should I need a cesarean section. This will determine for whom will be the responsible party.

I will deliver at Portland Providence. A month ago Mary CNM asked of our birth control choice after delivery. I explained that if I would need a C-section that I elect a tubal ligation. If we have a labor and delivery as planned Adam will have a vasectomy after the baby’s arrival. Mary explained that due to Providence being a Catholic hospital it would not be approved by the committee because I am not unfit, unhealthy or at any risk. My request would be declined.

The irony that Providence is a Catholic institution, however we were just discussing birth control a breath ago…

I shared the news with Adam that I was out. It didn’t matter what the outcome of the delivery. He was the elected party. Call and make an appointment- now!

I go into my last appointment with Patty CNM and she poses the same question as to our family planning method. I explain my past conversation with Mary. Patty questions me. She asks me if I would regret this later in life. Are we positive we do not want any more children, for pregnancy isn’t always the best time to make this decision! She continued, “If you and your husband divorce in five years and you meet someone would you want to share making a child with this person? This is a fair question, but my answer was firm, “No.” In five years I will be 36 ½ years old. If I met someone I would be on the cusp of 40. This is far too late for me to have a baby plus my children will be 8-9 years old. I think my baby days would be over! By my surprise she asked ‘the’ question: If something happened to this baby would you want to have another?

She continued, “If you sign a waiver and meet the 30 day waiting period you will probably be approved. The committee will agree that the risk to under go another surgery to complete the procedure puts you at an undo risk.”

I tell Adam that I am back in the game. We can wait on the outcome of the delivery. Delay making the call and appointment.

I signed this waiver at the beginning of January. I find that I think about this often. I don’t think about it because I am unsure if this decision is the right choice for our family, for I have no doubt. It leads me to think how our request and my signature are not enough to honor our wishes. In 2010 women must receive approval from a board of directors in order to make a permanent committed decision not to bare more children. And yet, women are able to have as many children regardless of how committed we are as mothers.

The irony continues…

We will find out Wednesday the final decision. Dun…dun…dun.

UPDATE: I have been approved by the commitee should I have a c-section.