My Daughter My Friend

When I returned home from the hospital Mom gave me a hysterical card (see photo). She wrote that she could see me saying this to the boys one day… how my Mom knows me! In the card was a beautiful letter. I want to include this in my journal sealed with the rest of our memories. I will read this letter during the days I feel most challenged finding my strength as I fall under the light she continues to shine over me. Now on to the letter:

My daughter my friend,

The words we have written or spoken over the years seem to cover the feelings and thoughts we have – and at times it seems there aren’t any left to say. Then another life altering experience comes along and there are many more words left to say…. I can’t tell you the completeness I feel within myself for being a part of your children’s births. While it was the hardest thing I have ever experienced, watching you go through the pain – it was what made me believe again, in all good and amazing things. Not just my mister man and sprite – but life baby.

The strength of your womanhood makes me look at you in awe – do not get me wrong – I do not have you on a pedestal that you cannot come down from – because I know you fall- and I know you will always need your Mom to help you. The hardest part of parenting isn’t raising the babies – it is letting them go…. And realizing that someone else will be nurturing and caring and loving them – and you have Adam and I adore him!!!!! I really feel that you are safe and warm and loved by an amazing man. That makes my letting go a little bit easier. It is so hard to see or imagine you struggling – no matter what the circumstances are – You will someday know this kind of love too.

I read your blogs – and I laugh and cry – smile – frown – worry – rejoice – I learned things about your feelings that I didn’t know… and I learned from them. I have learned a lot of lessons from you….

The heart of a parent? It is loving when perhaps a child doesn’t accept it – doesn’t trust it – doesn’t understand your reasons -but as a parent – you keep on keeping on – and hope that the day will come when they realize that love was always the driving factor and being a parent doesn’t mean you know everything - and my heart smiles because you get that !!!!

“I love how you love me”
“I love your guts”
“I love you in sunshine and in shade”
“I hope you dance”

The future, it is without a doubt – what I am looking forward to the most….. With you and your family…. And I also know that someday – my life will change… and with that comes more changes… challenges… but the one constant thing is – YOU….

You laugh and joke that it isn’t easy raising a single Mom  Well my dear, you have done it well and with grace – and I thank you.

I love you the most, the mostest, the mostester,

Mom