T MINUS 15 WEEKS

NOTE: This was written November 16th, 2009…

I had a moment of panic last night… I am 25 weeks pregnant. This means we literally have (give or take) 15 weeks until the Sprite comes home. What? 15 weeks? No. It can’t be. I lean over and grab my phone off the night stand and start counting backwards from Feb 28th, 2010 to current day. Yep, 13-17 weeks until shim is here.

OH MY GOD!

“Hey, babe you up?” I ask Adam. “What are you doing?” He answers. “Do you realize we are going to have a baby in like 15 weeks?” Calmly as if this isn’t a 911 emergency he answers ‘Yep”. I sit straight up in bed. My thoughts are spinning all out of sorts in disbelief. All I can say, “We have nothing! We have to start doing something!”

I have a moment of panic. I am a BAD mom. I mean with Kaden we were well on our way in having everything done. I think we were in our first trimester and he had a pretty complete room. I have not even purchased a package of diapers!

I had to count backwards again and guess what? The weeks don’t change.

I am a planner. I plan everything. I almost annoy myself in how far in advance I plan out activities. I mean, I literally have next summer planned out. The “Festival of December” is scheduled. I know what I am giving certain people for NEXT year’s Christmas. My unborn has no diapers or even a baby book started.

Call CSD right now. I am already failing this child’s needs. I am the worst mother.

So, what do I do today? I call Mom. I tell her about last nights anxiety. I mean, really I have not bought an outfit. I have not started making space. I have done nothing, zip, zero and zilch. Of course, she laughs at me. She says what do ‘we’ need? I have the baby and we shop according once shim is here. Oh, sure it sounds so easy. As if that is suppose to calm my nerves.

It does.

I realize that my lack of planning has nothing to do with my excitement level. It has everything to do with the fact that I am caring for an active toddler and buzzing around on a holiday high. And it is true that the after you have your first child things are a bit more mellow and easy going. It is a nice change of pace. Did I really just type that this new point-of-view or better described lackadaisical attitude is a nice change?

I hope that the sprite doesn’t come early. We are so totally not at all ready. To be honest, with the entire holiday hubbub I don’t see us stocking up on supplies in the coming weeks. However, here in the near future we may want to consider buying a car seat. We can’t take the baby home with out this necessity. I suppose Mom is right all the niceties can wait until the sprite is born; it just isn’t my style.

I go about my day and the panic subsides. I go to bed and diapers, bottles, strollers and car seats dance in my head…

It is 6:30 and Kaden and I wake up. I quickly feed him breakfast. Still in our pajamas I get my shoes on and I load him up into the car. Destination: Safeway. I can breathe a little easier because this afternoon sitting in our children’s room is a package of newborn diapers.

Slowly but surely we will get another pack of diapers, car seat, clothes, crib and yadda-yadda. For now, I find calmness in having our single pack of Pampers.