Zipped Up Day

“Mama… It hurts. It hurts.” Kaden is crying out in pain. I enter the living room and there he is bow legged and jammies half unzipped. The zipper stops right at his crotch. I know exactly what and why it hurts. My stomach drops.

I ask to look. He tells me no. I explain I have to look even if he wants to pull out his jammies (I show him with my collar as I move it away from my skin), so I can take a peek. I tell him I have to help him unzip jammies. He has tears pooling over his big brown eyes. “Mama is it going to hurt?”

This is the moment of the brave. I can’t ask him to be strong if I am unable hold back my own tears. His question put a vice right around my throat. I knelt down to his level and put my hands on his waist I felt my lips quiver as he looked at me for reassurance. “Kaden, it may hurt. I don’t know. We have to be brave and do this together.”

The pool in his eyes became the river down his face: “NO, Mama! I don’t want YOU to hurt me!” The vice tightened and I couldn’t keep up with my thoughts. At this moment I wanted to pass on the Momhood badge "Freeing pee-pee from zippper". I don't need the honor.

I had not given thought to issues I’d have to face with being a mom of two boys. I just found I was grateful to avoid the conversations, moods and issues usually associated with daughters. Heck, boys are supposed to be maintenance free, right? As parents of son's we have a conversation about safe sex, toss them a condom and send them on their way… (Okay, I am abbreviating this a little!). Anyway, I have been prepared with a first aid kit for the blood and band aids for the ouies, which leave no marks. This is what I signed up for.I didn’t prepare myself to enter a living room to rescue my three-year-olds pee-pee from the grips of his footie jammies. This I was 100% unprepared.

I did what I always do. I turned to food. I offered him a Popsicle. He declines. He saw this as his opportunity and asked for a Christmas sucker. There is one left and boy howdy he can have it. Now, Ashton sees me in the drawer and is demanding a look-see for something sweet. He wants the sucker. He gets PEZ.

He is calming down. I lay him down on the couch. I touch the zipper and he screams. I wonder, "Do I ice him?" I really am at a loss here. I act on my next thought. I grab my phone and call Adam.

He tells me there is one way and one way only to do this. It is going to hurt, but I have to do it. I then here, “Hey, do you know how to get a small pee-pee out of a zipper?” His coworker had no magic to offer.

When I have blood drawn I like people to talk to me. I forget what is going on. I go to this method. I keep my hand on the zipper and start talking to him. I ask him if he wants to sing. He doesn’t. He wants to know why my hand is on the zipper and keeps asking the wrenching question: "Are you going to hurt me, Mama?"

I back off of him. I am getting nauseous. Do I go up? Do I pull down? Do I zip quickly like ripping of a band aid? Do I move slowly to be sure there is no injury?

I call The Church’s.

“Hello, Les… Is Inez there?” If he answers the phone I already know she is out of the house. “Okay, well I have a situation. Kaden zipped up his pee-pee and I am not sure how to unzip him.” Les, “What is that, Hun?” I repeat myself, “Kaden zipped up his pee-pee and I am not sure what to do?” Les, “Okay, Hun, what is going on?” I get a little louder, “Kaden got his penis caught in his zipper. What do I do?” Les, “Oh Man, oooo oooo oooo that hurts! (He giggles) You just have to do it. Hun, do you want me to come and do it?” I explain my anxiety, but that I can do it. With great assurance and no apprehension he tells me to do it as quick as I can. And again, he reiterates it is going to hurt.

I get off the phone and turn around looking at my son watching “Klipper the Dog” and sucking on his sucker wide eagle. I go back to my position. I grab a hold of the zipper. He asks what I am doing. I ask him to tell me the colors on his lollypop. “Oh, there is red, blue and…” I pull up.

I feel the zipper teeth move over his flesh.

I feel like I am going to passout. I pray: Please, please don't distrust me after this, Kade. Please, don't be mad at me. Please, let this moment pass quickly..."

He looks down. He is free! He smiles with gladness. He wants to check his parts out. All looks fine.

“Mama, see I am a tough guy!” He exclaims. “You don’t have to worry!”

No, Kaden, you are beyond tough. You are a Superhero. You have the great power to make any situation calming.

And with that Kade asked to look at Ashton’s pee-pee. He wanted to be certain Ashton's diaper won’t ‘stuck it’.

Our life and all pee-pee's are officially back to normal.