DREAMS

Sleep. What a treat. It seems like it was so long ago since I enjoyed a long restful peaceful sleep. I am deprived. When I do sleep I am experiencing those ‘dreams’. Pregnancy dreams are by far the strangest and at times creepiest thoughts! When I was pregnant with Kaden I experienced these dreams, but this go round they are just plain odd.

I can remember two of my pregnancy dreams while pregnant with Kaden. The first was an ultrasound. As the tech was flipping through the TV to find the right picture of the baby it was brought to my attention that I was having several babies. Right there on the television with rabbit ears (antenna) and the two dials down the wood paneling was a full color image of a litter of adorable white fluffy puppies and one baby. Try to decipher that one… The second was delivering the rose bush with all the thorns. As soon as I woke up I knew the warning: labor and delivery would burn, hurt and tear. I was right (about the rose bush not abut the puppies!)

I have had several different dreams through this pregnancy. As I think about these dreams I sit shaking my head.

Dream 1- Adam and I were proud parents of an African American baby. I am not a racist and yet my imagination took this small child and gave shim very stereotypical facial features which were overly exaggerated. Adam was the father I was not the mother even though I did give birth to this child. Science really is a mystery…

Dream 2- This dream is beginning to leave my memory bank. I do recall that we had a Tyrannosaurus Rex. ‘Rex’ measured in at 36 inches- yes, three feet! It was odd enough I had a dinosaur, but my imagination took it further. Rex was a skeletal structure of bones and internal organs. It lay flat as if there were only one side its structure. There was nothing else. I held “Rex” with both hands open as you would a delicate butterfly in the palm of your hands. I watched its heart pump. We were told to be careful and Rex would thrive. We left and took our ‘Rex’. I woke up disturbed after this dream!

Dream 3- This one was short and simple. I bought both Auntie L and myself silver Vespas. On the back I had car seats installed. This sounds safe! Call CSD right now.

Dream 4- This is my most recent dream… I went into preterm labor. We were told to go to Willamette Falls Hospital (WFH) in Oregon City. In my real life I have a bitter opinion about this institution making a conscious choice not to seek any health care there including maternity. Moving forward with the dream… I was in preterm labor (current time was 32 weeks) and told to go to Willamette Falls immediately. We drove the 10 minute drive to the top of the hill. We were admitted and taken to a cancer center. It must be noted: Willamette Falls is a small facility, which doesn’t have this center. I am rolled to the center on a gurney. I explain I am in labor- I do not need an oncologist. The nurse explains that space is limited. As I have such a distaste for WFH I buy what she is saying and begin screaming at the top of my lungs back to Adam. “Babe, this is exactly why we should not have come here….” I continue swearing and saying that this is of no surprise for a hospital with this and that issue. I am out of control at this point. Imagine me being out of control…

We have the baby and we are taken to a room that appears to be 900 sf in size. It is stark white and huge. The room is as sterile and white as an old psychiatric ward from the movies where the bed sits in the middle of a room with white walls and tile floor. In the middle of the room, on the bed, is a cancer patient. She just sits there and looks at me. She never talks. She is in her last stages of life very frail and without hair. Her head is tiny. There is no one and nothing else in this room, but a storage door and my bed along the wall.

Adam is told there is no room for him to stay in this room. If he would like he may stay in the storage closet with the cleaning supplies and such. The nurse happily brings him a cot and blanket. He stays in there. As the days pass I am receiving random furniture deliveries. Adam put together this gigantic IKEA wall shelf/storage unit. FedEx kept bringing in boxes and boxes all filled with my belongings.

The dream ends. I have never seen my baby. Actually, the baby was not the focus of the dream. I am still trying to figure out what was the center other than throughout I kept referring to WFH incompetence.

I have no idea why I dream what I do. I don’t think the hormones are to blame, so I turn to late night TV. I must hear what is on and incorporate this into my subconscious. At any rate, these dreams have brought great entertainment to my mornings as I share over the phone with family and friends. If nothing else a good laugh to start the day is keeps me sane on these long sleepy days!