Choices

Life is full of choices, which seems tenfold as a wife and mother. Choices are made without even realizing I have made one. I am pretty darn certain that I do not always make the right picks, but I make the choice I feel best for my family. I will be honest… at times it simply comes down to what is the very best choice for me.

We get married making the choice to be someone’s life partner. We are choosing one person to be our friend, partner and lover. These gifts are to be held in high esteem tenderly promising loyalty and truth to this single person. We choose to build a life found upon the same dreams with an understanding our paths may find a different curvature, but our direction will remain the same. In times of misdirection we have to make a choice as to the path we come back to.

We choose to have children. And as these children grow inside the mother’s womb many decisions are completed. We decide on finding out the sex. Please note: Adam and I have not decided to do so! We name our child before s/he is born. Please note: We have. We choose a nursery theme. Expectant moms may choose a healthier lifestyle. These examples may be shallow, but each is still a choice we make. The choices are abundant seeming never ending.

A child is born. When Kaden was born we had not decided if I would breastfeed or formula feed. In a split second we chose to formula feed. To choose to do one over the other didn't put me on the 'bad mom' list. We made the best choice for our family. This holds true for our birthing plan. A woman who chooses natural childbirth isn’t more of a woman than those who go completely medicated. The choice to be a stay at home mom vs the working mom is not easily made, by anyone. A couple chooses to have mom stay home or go back to work. It isn’t easy. It may be a financial burden, but it is still a choice to live a certain lifestyle. Both are hard jobs and doing one is not better than the other. It is about being secure in our choices, as women, to do what is best for our families. There comes a time when moms have to make the above decisions. It is sad that in choosing we have trepidation simply due to the judgment of others.

Families grow and life goes on. We are faced with obstacles and challenges. In a short time, as wife and mother, I have looked fear in the face. I have had to make choices that effect our short and long term goals. I have to do what is best for my family. The choices don’t always come easy. In this journey I have learned judgment is hardest on me by me. The opinion of others simply doesn’t matter. Some of us may have similar experiences, but our circumstance is different. This is the key. I am happy I finally realize this.

The key to choice is circumstance. It isn’t the obstacle. What we do for our families differs not because of the occurrence, but our condition. It is that simple. I for one am thankful for the choices we as wives and mothers have to make. It was not that long ago we didn’t have this right. We did what was the social norm and dictated approrpriate by our husbands. I can attest I am my hardest critic. I accept not only being wife and mother, but being my own judge at the end of the day. After all, my husband, children and I are the ones who ultimately have to live with the decisions made.